Alyson Penn

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The “Perfect Woman” Doesn’t Smoke, Drink, Gossip Or Curse, According To Vanity Fair Poll

A new Vanity Fair/”60 Minutes” poll surveyed American adults about the qualities they look for in an ideal woman. And, by George, we’ve got one: she’s a “bold and experienced” “good mother” who hates the movie “Fatal Attraction,” doesn’t smoke, and is a doctor. But don’t feel bad if that doesn’t describe you … because it…

Alyson Penn / July 29, 2013

So, Uh, What Exactly Is A “Gay-by” Shower, Fergie?

This past weekend, the very pregnant Fergie Duhamel had her “gay-by” shower at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. And, if you’re like us, you probably have no idea what that means. Us Weekly reported that it was thrown by her “gay BFFs.” Not sure why they can’t just be “BFFs” who also happen to be…

Alyson Penn / July 29, 2013

3 Reasons I’m Ready To Give Up On “Dexter”

Remember the good ol’ days of “Dexter”? When the 6′ 4″ Trinity Killer performed his closeted kill rituals and physically abused his family behind closed doors? Or the Ice Truck Killer, who painted his victim’s fingernails different colors as a special message to Dexter? Remember when Dexter was, you know, busy tracking and killing these…

Alyson Penn / July 28, 2013

Back In The Day: We Love Butterfly Clips

What: Butterfly clips

When we wore it: Late ’90s

Why we hate them: Because we never had enough, obviously.

Alyson Penn / July 28, 2013

Indian College Bans Female Students From Wearing Sleeveless Dresses

Oh, dress codes. Women have been banned from wearing sleeveless dresses at a school in Madhya Pradesh, India, because administrators say doing so isn’t dressing in a “decent manner.” In order to enforce the new rule, the college director stands outside the premises every morning to make sure the students are wearing “decent” attire.

Alyson Penn / July 28, 2013

Shailene Woodley’s Sex Scene In “The Spectacular Now” Is Her Favorite Ever

Shailene Woodley thinks her new movie, “The Spectacular Now,” is really, really … real. Woodley told the ladies of “The View” that her favorite scene to film in the new coming-of-age teen dramedy, which arrives in theaters on August 2, is when her character, Aimee Finecky, loses her virginity to alcoholic bad boy Sutter Keely…

Alyson Penn / July 27, 2013

Her 10 Best Looks: Cate Blanchett

What’s not to love about Cate Blanchett?  The Australian star of “Blue Jasmine” is awesomely gorgeous, and she’s totally killed it in every role she’s played, including Katherine Hepburn and Bob Dylan. She’s classy as hell, really chill (I’d assume), and wears the coolest clothes ever — which caused me massive stress in trying to narrow thi…

Alyson Penn / July 27, 2013

Taylor Swift Left A $500 Tip In Philly

Okay we get it! Taylor Swift is like, the nicest person ever. After enjoying an $800 meal with her tour crew (which she obviously paid for) in Philly, the pop songstress left a hefty $500 tip. Taylor, don’t you know that’s like, 60 percent? But I guess if you have boatloads of money it doesn’t…

Alyson Penn / July 25, 2013

14 Friends Everyone Has On Facebook

If you’re like us, you’ve had a Facebook profile for years and have somehow accrued hundreds and hundreds of “friends.” Maybe you only see about 20 of them in real life. So what? You feel connected to all of these people’s lives, even if you can’t remember who they are anymore. Facebook friends can be…

Alyson Penn / July 15, 2013

An Open Letter To The New Movie “Adore” (Which Is Eerily Similar To That Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake Song “Mother Lover”)

Dear the movie “Adore,” starring Naomi Watts and Robin Wright,

Let me start by saying that I’m not here as another social media troll who just wants to make fun of your semi-absurd plot. That would just be too easy. I know that you didn’t just turn the satirical “Mother Lover” into a pouty,…

Alyson Penn / July 13, 2013

Amanda Seyfried Kept Her Clothes On For “Lovelace”

Before your dude friends drag you from your couch to see “Lovelace,” the new flick about  the star of the infamous porn film “Deep Throat,” you might want to share this phrase with them: “no full-frontal nudity.” At least not from Amanda Seyfried, the woman playing famed porn star Linda Lovelace. The reason for her…

Alyson Penn / July 12, 2013

Beyoncé Is Naked! (Almost)

B, you can chop off all your hair, strip off all your clothes, and slather your self in a shimmery rust-like substance, and the world still can’t get enough. The latest issue of Flaunt features a 2011 photo shoot of Blue Ivy’s fierce mama, who proves yet again why we are all inferior to her.

Alyson Penn / July 11, 2013

18 Things You Wish You Could Ask On A First Date (But Can’t Because They’re Probably Inappropriate)

It’s our first date and I literally don’t care about your college major, or how long you’ve been in the city. I don’t care if you only drink aged whiskey or how lame you thought new Superman movie was. Please stop talking about your favorite hockey team and how it’s such a small world  because…

Alyson Penn / July 7, 2013

Back In The Day: We Love Jean Skirts

What: Jean Skirts

When We Wore Them: Early 2000s

Why We Hate Them: Literally no reason, their inflated prices were totally warranted.

Alyson Penn / July 6, 2013

Awesomely Affordable: The 7 Best Cuff Earrings Under $20

Remember those minuscule stick-on earrings that you always confused with Candy Buttons? Well, ear cuffs are kind of the same idea, as in you can plop them on your hole-less ear and still look kind of badass.  These suckers are popping up all over the place, and for many there’s no piercing required. So if you’re still…

Alyson Penn / July 2, 2013

Large Child Justin Bieber Wants To Have Children Soon

Today In Terrible Ideas: Justin Bieber told Us Weekly that he would like to get married and start a family young. He looks to his grandparents as a model for his future relationship as they are still together and in love. Bieber said, “They love each other so much, after so many years! When I’m…

Alyson Penn / July 1, 2013

Weight Gain And Bigger Boobs Are Birth Control Myths

There goes my excuse for the Freshmen 15. Only three to four percent of women actually gain weight on the birth control pill, according to Dr. Anne Burke, associate professor of gynecology at Johns Hopkins. The pounds you think you pack on from the pill could actually be from those cafeteria fries, or the six…

Alyson Penn / July 1, 2013

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Beer, ‘Nuff Said

This may be a big week for ga -rights activists, America, and, like, history. But it’s also a big week for all us chocolate peanut butter lovers out there. That’s right, Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter has descended from the heavens (or Abington, Maryland) and graced us with its sweet, sudsy presence. For a…

Alyson Penn / June 30, 2013

The 10 Funniest Female Duos Of All Time

“The Heat,” a foul-mouthed, gun-toting, slapstick-silly film opened in theaters this weekend — and it stars two female leads. Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, two of Hollywood’s raddest women, play an FBI agent and a cop, respectively, in the movie, which has been getting some positive reviews. So, to honor this awesome female duo, we thought we’d list…

Alyson Penn / June 29, 2013

Woman Grabs Man’s Crotch Before Duo Robs Him

Apparently, a crotch grab is the real way to a man’s heart — or to his nonexistent wallet. Two women in Seattle made a really, really poor robbery attempt after making a date with a man they casually seduced by grabbing his crotch.

According to police reports, the caretaker victim was helping a…

Alyson Penn / June 29, 2013