If you don’t want to hear a rambling soliloquy of stories that have nothing to do with you, don’t ask me about Australia. Not only will I blabber about about it for hours on end to anyone that asks (or doesn’t), I will try to strike up a conversation with any stranger in my near vicinity who has a whiff of an Australian accent. But in my defense, I just really, really loved my study abroad experience. I made friends for life, did things I thought I would never do (um, hi skydiving) and truly had some of the most epic nights I can (barely) remember. So in case I was too subtle, I recommend studying abroad. But a great experience doesn’t just start and end with a passport. Here are some things you need to do to have that “Crap, I really wish I got a green card” experience:
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So you’ve bought the sheets, the desk lamp, the shoe racks, the posters that will fall off after two months, the hangers, the towels, the laptop and the notebooks. You pillaged the shit out of your local bedding supply co. and you’re feeling like a champ … or in a cloudy haze of coupons and shopping carts. Same thing. The problem is, there will alwayssss be something you forgot. And you definitely want to get that stuff while your parents’ credit card is just an arm’s length away. Here are some things you would have forgotten if it weren’t for me saving the day…
Not that we blame them. “Breaking Bad” has totally transformed Albuquerque from that random city that’s spelled weird to the meth capital of the world. What else were the great capitalists of New Mexico supposed to do besides squeeze every last penny from their infamous, regionalized crystal? In honor of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman’s “Blue Sky” meth (99.1 percent pure, thankyouverymuch), the good businessmen of the Southwestern city have been selling donuts, bath salts, and candy all in the name of the fictional, highly addictive, and massively illegal drug.
Did anyone know they were? Apparently rumors were swirling that the former Monica Gellar and and the late-night queen of crass were feuding over Jen Aniston’s upcoming bachelorette party. Well, according to Ms. Handler, who had Jen on “Chelsea Lately” this week to promote her new movie, “We Are The Millers,” she and Courteney barely even know each other. Also, Jen’s totally not even having a bachelorette party. Sorry, gossip magazines — your story was shut down before anyone even knew about it. [The Huffington Post] [Photos: Getty Images]
The results of the first-ever survey of attractiveness from cosmetic facial surgery are in and it’s not pretty. According to The Journal of the American Medical Association, face, brow, and eye-lift patients looked only three years younger with an insignificant increase in attractiveness. How does one measure something so objective, you ask? Isn’t beauty, like, in the eye of the beholder and everything? Apparently not. Or, rather, it’s in the eye of several beholders. Researchers showed 49 patients’ (from the same surgeon) before and after photos to 50 judgmental randos, who told the surveyors how hot and old they thought they looked. On a scale from 1-10 in attractiveness, patients were generally rated between 4 to 6. The completely ego-busting scores could have been due to the patients’ age range of 42 to 73. Said Nancy Etcoff, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, “They’re looking at a face that looks older in some ways, and younger in some ways. It’s difficult for the raters, and confusing.” Something tells me though that this still won’t derail the millions of Americans who get plastic surgery every year. Hey, at least they didn’t look worse after their facelifts. Small victories, people. [NY Times] [Photo: Getty]
We’ve all been through it — what started off as an innocent movie night with the family becomes a wildly uncomfortable experience the minute a surprisingly racy sex scene fills the screen. Let’s relive all the awkwardness — in GIFs — after the jump…
As an anthropology major in college, I was exposed to a wide variation of human behavior and culture. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me to watch a two minute clip of a Justin Bieber concert. With raised eyebrows and pursed lips I desperately tried to understand this strange subculture of screeching tweens raising iPhones to record the singer clad in sagging leather pants, fingerless red gloves, and a shiny sleeveless hoodie. Keep reading »
The British really aren’t into sex, huh? After their Prime Minister David Cameron went after internet porn last week, now The Co-operative Group, one of the largest magazine retailers in the UK, is demanding that “lads’ magazines” showing skimpily-clad cover models provide a modesty bag by September 9 to be sold in their stores. Keep reading »
When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.
Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »
A new Vanity Fair/”60 Minutes” poll surveyed American adults about the qualities they look for in an ideal woman. And, by George, we’ve got one: she’s a “bold and experienced” “good mother” who hates the movie “Fatal Attraction,” doesn’t smoke, and is a doctor. But don’t feel bad if that doesn’t describe you … because it doesn’t describe most of us.
Here’s a closer look at the stats so you know exactly what you should be like, if you want to make a bunch of random people who read Vanity Fair and/or watch “60 Minutes” like you: