Profile for Almie Rose

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How To Celebrate Your Stupid Birthday

Ask Almie: Older Men
Almie shows us how to make time with an older guy. Read More »
Ask Almie: Mitt Romney
Almie shows us how to use Mitt Romney to get guys. Read More »
Ask Almie: Love Letter
How not to write one, based on a letter Almie once wrote. Read More »
How To Celebrate Your Stupid Birthday

Do you have a birthday coming up? Good! Because our fearless correspondent Almie Rose will show you the proper way to celebrate. Hint: It involves concealer and wine.

The Drunk Girl’s Battle Cry: I Made Bad Choices Last Night

Drunk Is A Feminist Issue
Why women everywhere should be concerned about binge-drinking. Read More »
I Quit Drinking
no drinking photo
What happens when our author quit her epic boozing. Read More »

As of late, I feel as though my friends and I are in a Doors song, specifically “Riders On The Storm.” We are making the poor decision to ride into a the perfect storm of broken hearts and alcohol, combined with the fact that we’re in our mid- to late-twenties and freaking out about it. Which also means that we should know better. Yet we continue to get knocked down, and then get up again, because you ain’t ever gonna keep us down.

We need to calm our tits.

Keep reading »

How (Not) To Write A Love Letter

Dating Don'ts: The L Word
There are certain times when "I love you" doesn't count. Read More »
Unrequited Love
Ami talks about how she loves unrequited love. Read More »
Romney Pick-Up Lines
Who knew Mitt knew so much about flirting? Read More »
Don't Bring Up Cancer

Who writes love letters these days? Me, that crazy kid Almie Rose, that’s who. In this helpful video, I show you the ins and outs of writing a proper love letter. Hint: Don’t mention your dying cat.

How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

FB Friends To Keep
Because they're so fun to stalk! Read More »
DIY: Friendship Bracelets
A fun DIY project that'll bring you back to middle school. Read More »
Friends With Kids
Oh look, an ensemble cast that does not look godawful. Read More »

Do you find that you have just too much support? That people like you too much? That you’re just up to your eyelashes in friendships? Me too, comrade! Here’s how to destroy all of that.

It’s really important to pick fights with your friends. If there’s something that isn’t a big deal, it’s your job to make it as big a deal as possible. If they don’t see your point of view, it’s because they’re selfish idiots. You, by default of being you, will always be correct. Don’t put up with their guff. Storm out of the room. Keep reading »

Almie Rose Presents Mitt Romney-Inspired Pick-Up Lines

Oh Romney!
God Bless America!
Landing An Older Man
Almie Rose has some advice for getting your own grey-haired hottie. Read More »

I think Mitt Romney is my favorite reality show of all time. He just keeps the gaffes coming. The joy (and horror) in Romney’s campaign relies on his bizarre verbal blunders, and thanks to his campaign’s Twitter, the gold keeps coming. Check out this video where I turn some of Romney’s classic lines from his speeches and tweets and warp them into patriotic, sexy pick-up lines. God bless America!

I’m Sorry, What? What’s Going On With Men And Photoshop?

I'm Sorry, What?
Almie Rose on Katrina Darling. Read More »
Photoshopped Dudes
Women aren't the only ones who've suffered from Photoshop. Read More »

It’s not big news that ads are photoshopped. But every once in a while I see something that’s so completely ridiculous that I have to wonder if the people involved are for real. You have to understand, from far away, I had no idea who the hell those guys were supposed to be, and it’s a giant billboard — it’s the size of the building. I honestly thought that Michael Chiklis on the right was a Pixar creation.

No, this is in no way the worst case of photoshopping ever. I’m not saying that. You might even be thinking, This isn’t a big deal, I wouldn’t have looked twice. But isn’t that the problem? Why aren’t we looking twice? Why aren’t we surprised by these photoshopped images any more? Why are we accepting this?  And I’ve noticed that lately, men seem to finally be getting the same crazy photoshop treatment that women get, though I don’t see this as a victory. All it does is perpetuate this stupid cycle of raising standards by depicting all celebrities so flawless, they look computer generated. (Or worse, when the images become so manipulated, they look like other people. I thought that Kim Cattral on the “Sex and the City 2″ poster was Katherine Heigl.) Keep reading »

Frisky Original Video: Almie Rose On How To Land An Older Man

Older Men, Younger Women
Do all older men want a much young girlfriend? Read More »
"Oh, Your 401K Is So Big!"

You’ve always wondered what it might be like to get with that older, distinguished dude in your office, right? You’re all, “What was life like before the Internet?” And he’s all, “Shut up and help me boot up my computer.” You’re so clearly meant for each other, if only he could see it! Our friend Almie Rose has made this helpful video which will guide you through the process of snagging an older guy. Enjoy! — Editors

I’m Sorry, What? Katrina Darling Is An Embarrassment For Kate, But Prince Harry Dressed As A Nazi And We’re Cool?

Kate's Cousin
katrina darling burlesque photo
... a burlesque dancer who is posing for Playboy! Read More »
Prince Harry Naked!
Prince Hot Ginge's nude photos hit the internet! Read More »

So, by now most of us know that Kate Middleton has a (very distant) cousin named Katrina Darling who is a burlesque dancer. Ms. Darling just posed on the cover of Playboy and some of the words being used by the media to somberly describe how Ms. Middleton feels about this matter are “embarrassed,” “ashamed,” and “disheartened.”

Remember when Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi for Halloween? “Yes,” (probably some of) you say. But do you? Do we? Because it seemed like after the photos surfaced of him in a Nazi outfit, all he was given was a verbal lashing by the press for a week and Prince Charles’ version of Hank Hill’s “Dangit Bobby!” and then it pretty much disappeared. Yes, he apologized. “He made a mistake!” people say.

You know how I make a mistake? Keep reading »

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