As of late, I feel as though my friends and I are in a Doors song, specifically “Riders On The Storm.” We are making the poor decision to ride into a the perfect storm of broken hearts and alcohol, combined with the fact that we’re in our mid- to late-twenties and freaking out about it. Which also means that we should know better. Yet we continue to get knocked down, and then get up again, because you ain’t ever gonna keep us down.
We need to calm our tits.
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Who writes love letters these days? Me, that crazy kid Almie Rose, that’s who. In this helpful video, I show you the ins and outs of writing a proper love letter. Hint: Don’t mention your dying cat.
Do you find that you have just too much support? That people like you too much? That you’re just up to your eyelashes in friendships? Me too, comrade! Here’s how to destroy all of that.
It’s really important to pick fights with your friends. If there’s something that isn’t a big deal, it’s your job to make it as big a deal as possible. If they don’t see your point of view, it’s because they’re selfish idiots. You, by default of being you, will always be correct. Don’t put up with their guff. Storm out of the room. Keep reading »
I think Mitt Romney is my favorite reality show of all time. He just keeps the gaffes coming. The joy (and horror) in Romney’s campaign relies on his bizarre verbal blunders, and thanks to his campaign’s Twitter, the gold keeps coming. Check out this video where I turn some of Romney’s classic lines from his speeches and tweets and warp them into patriotic, sexy pick-up lines. God bless America!
It’s not big news that ads are photoshopped. But every once in a while I see something that’s so completely ridiculous that I have to wonder if the people involved are for real. You have to understand, from far away, I had no idea who the hell those guys were supposed to be, and it’s a giant billboard — it’s the size of the building. I honestly thought that Michael Chiklis on the right was a Pixar creation.
No, this is in no way the worst case of photoshopping ever. I’m not saying that. You might even be thinking, This isn’t a big deal, I wouldn’t have looked twice. But isn’t that the problem? Why aren’t we looking twice? Why aren’t we surprised by these photoshopped images any more? Why are we accepting this? And I’ve noticed that lately, men seem to finally be getting the same crazy photoshop treatment that women get, though I don’t see this as a victory. All it does is perpetuate this stupid cycle of raising standards by depicting all celebrities so flawless, they look computer generated. (Or worse, when the images become so manipulated, they look like other people. I thought that Kim Cattral on the “Sex and the City 2″ poster was Katherine Heigl.) Keep reading »
You’ve always wondered what it might be like to get with that older, distinguished dude in your office, right? You’re all, “What was life like before the Internet?” And he’s all, “Shut up and help me boot up my computer.” You’re so clearly meant for each other, if only he could see it! Our friend Almie Rose has made this helpful video which will guide you through the process of snagging an older guy. Enjoy! — Editors
So, by now most of us know that Kate Middleton has a (very distant) cousin named Katrina Darling who is a burlesque dancer. Ms. Darling just posed on the cover of Playboy and some of the words being used by the media to somberly describe how Ms. Middleton feels about this matter are “embarrassed,” “ashamed,” and “disheartened.”
Remember when Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi for Halloween? “Yes,” (probably some of) you say. But do you? Do we? Because it seemed like after the photos surfaced of him in a Nazi outfit, all he was given was a verbal lashing by the press for a week and Prince Charles’ version of Hank Hill’s “Dangit Bobby!” and then it pretty much disappeared. Yes, he apologized. “He made a mistake!” people say.
You know how I make a mistake? Keep reading »