Profile for Ali Jawin

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The Blogosphere Privacy Bill of Rights

I am always a bit wary of writing about my personal life on the blogosphere. That being said, this is The Frisky and we are all about honesty and openness. Last Friday I took my first crack at publicly exploring a private issue. Not to air my dirty laundry to the world again, but I wrote about a problem I was having with my boyfriend. I was conflicted on many levels, not the least of which was wondering if it was even OK to write about him in the first place. In the end I decided to write the post. I had a lot of legitimate reasons for doing so, but I was also really really furious and didn’t care if he read it or not. Inevitably, he found out. He wasn’t upset with me, but the incident did get me thinking…. Traditional journalists have to protect their sources, but the blogosphere lacks a set of guidelines about what we can and cannot reveal about other people.This is why I feel the need to create The Blogosphere Privacy Bill of Rights. We need this, if only so we don’t scare away all our friends and family. Keep reading »

Angelina Jolie And Hillary Clinton Work Together To Solve…

Angelina Jolie and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton are making a joint appearance on Anderson Cooper 360 tomorrow night. The two women are apparently in cahoots on some undoubtedly serious subject. In an age where celebrities waltz into the UN more often than they walk the red carpet, and politicians twitter more than Ashton Kutcher, it’s hardly surprising to see the blurring of the lines between entertainment and politics. Still, Angelina and Hillary? It’s kind of an unlikely match. Something big must be happening (Hillary’s website says something about human rights?), so here are my four best guesses as to what they are really collaborating on. Keep reading »

Take A Nap On The “Girlfriend’s Lap” Pillow

This ain’t your average throw pillow, ladies. Despite what the “Girlfriend’s Lap” pillow looks like, the makers swear there is nothing dirty about this lap pillow. If you are questioning what exactly you are looking at, no worries, you’re not alone. As the name suggests, you are indeed looking at a pillow in the shape of a woman’s legs made from urethane foam. I am not a foam expert, but apparently this kind of foam has a skin-like texture, so minus the lack of a torso you might never notice that you are taking a cat nap on a fake lap. Of course, the mini skirt does add that extra special dose of reality, so maybe not. What, you thought we added the mini? Oh no no, the “Girlfriend’s Lap” pillow comes with the polyester skirt, but you can strip it off, if you’d like. Perv.

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Obama’s Got His Own Dildo

There are certain places I expect the President of the U.S. to pop up: CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, etc. Since President Obama is unusually stylish, it’s no surprise that he and the super glam Michelle regularly grace the cover of non-news magazines. The one place I was not expecting to see the handsome face of our fearless leader: a dildo. Oh yes, he’s really got his own stimulus package. Personally, I’ll pass. Luckily for those of us who find that politics rarely leads to fun in the bedroom, but want to show their patriotism in an unusual manner, there is plenty of oddball Obama merchandise out there. Keep reading »

Five Heartthrobs Who Broke Our Hearts With Their Bad Behavior

heartthrob pattinson jpg
I am devastated. I can’t take another heartbreak. Another wonderful relationship gone down the drain only to be replaced by pain and the fear that I will never find a heartthrob equally attractive. Oh wait, did you think I was talking about a real relationship? Nah, I am just mourning the latest heartthrob to develop a detestable habit.

Robert, how could you do this to me? Smoking! I can’t understand why you would throw away everything we will one day have for such a bad habit. Cigarettes are a dealbreaker for me for many reasons, but with you sweetie, it’s especially problematic. I am only with you for your amazingly hot bod and dazzling face, which cigarettes will ruin. It’s gonna be tough to give you up, but I think I will make it, if only because I still have Edward Cullen.

Sperm and Fallopian Tube Jewelry

At first look, these metallic earrings are rather cute. Not my style necessarily, but statement jewelry is in and there is nothing particularly off about them. At second look, I am permanently scarred and already have a call in to my therapist. I should actually be calling my gynecologist to see if these sperm and fallopian tube earrings are anatomically correct. If I am going to walk around with metallic reproductive organs on my lobes, I want to make sure they are at least realistically represented. I suppose they are unusual because no one in their right mind would think people would buy sperm earrings, but if I had remained in ignorant bliss I probably would have donned them on my next date. Good thing I have seen the light (and the contraceptive), for it would have been tres awkward if a date thought I was wearing sperm earrings to lure him in. [$70, Luna Parc] Keep reading »

Czech Nurses Score Bigger Boobs

The global financial crises has forced every industry to get a little creative. Rather than go with the stodgy “buy one get one free” approach of many struggling industries, the Czech health care system is wooing its nurses with unusual pizazz. Like most countries around the world, the Czech Republic’s health care system is teetering on the brink of collapse, in part due to the nursing shortage. The Czech Republic is in a particular bind: Nurses are emigrating to other countries for better pay and opportunity while fewer people are training to become nurses due to the negative stereotypes left over from communism. The idea of using incentives to encourage employees to renew their contracts is hardly newsworthy. The fact that some Czech medical establishments are using incentives like free breast implants, liposuction and tummy tucks does raise my eyebrows. (Not for long, however, should I decide to become a Czech nurse and opt for a face lift or Botox.) Keep reading »

Enema Bag Jewelry

Whoa! Weird alarm bells are screeching in my head. Enema bag jewelry, oh yes, it exists. Luckily for our health, safety and noses, these pins and earrings are only inspired by the stinky enema bags. These, um, unique accessories are made from bronze, sterling silver and copper, so if you wear them and people run away from you, you can chase after them and tell them you are not a safety hazard. As far as artistic representation goes, I guess the jewelry is an accurate likeness to the medical device, eerily so, in fact. And yet, somehow I just don’t feel like sporting metal poop-bags on my lobes. I know butts are in right now, but they aren’t that in. If you bravely don enema bag jewelry you might discover that they are great conversation starters, or conversation killers. [$80, Luna Parc] Keep reading »

Bust Up Gum Boosts The Size Of Your Boobies

A-cups, rejoice! Pop a piece of Bust Up Gum, which claims to increase bust size, and get the boobs of your dreams! And pigs can fly and Lindsay Lohan is going to get her act together. Sorry, this product sounds like the sort of thing only encountered on the Hogwarts Express. In the minor defense of the makers of Bust Up Gum, the creators at least went through the pretense of making a brilliant scientific discovery. They included fancy schmancy ingredients and all: Maltitol, Lactitol, Hydrogenated Glucose Syrup, and Pueraria. So, I guess this won’t work for you if you are into organic or that natural food business, but whatevs, you can’t have everything. Oh, but a a few notes of caution. The label recommends popping at least six tablets per day and also advises that you should not consume during pregnancy, breastfeeding, menstruation, or if you have been diagnosed with medical conditions of the ovaries, uterus, or breast. Oh, also, consuming in large amounts may cause loose bowels. That might be a problem for some. Keep reading »

Fundies: Underwear For Two

I am a big fan of “alone time” and “space,” which is one of the many reasons I will not be buying a pair of Fundies underwear anytime soon. Some things in life were indeed built for two: See-saws, cats cradle, thumb war, patty cake, etc. Underwear, not so much. Perhaps I am just a square or closed-minded, but I am an only child and I was never good at sharing. From a style point of view, Fundies are not horrific. Boring, yes, but I am not going to avert my eyes in disgust. That being said, I don’t think Fundies were created or are bought for style reasons. Oh yes, this product is meant to live in kinky-ville. Not that Fundies look particularly sexy-time to me, but maybe that’s just because I am imagining the logistical difficulties of two people trying to get into these. I doubt the packaging says this, but it should contain a warning for the uncoordinated. All joking aside, I recommend buying these. Not only are they dirt cheap, but it’s always good to have a gag gift or two around the house. I also feel like promoting this classic if only because it has been around for decades and has had the same packaging for over 20 years. To survive so long in the ever changing fashion world, that earns my respect. [$9.99, Fundies, ShopInPrivate.com} Keep reading »

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