Here’s One More Reason Sex On The Beach Is A Horrible Idea

Sex On The Beach
Worst Plan Ever

If sand fleas, nasty infections, and sunburn weren’t motive enough, getting arrested might be another reason to think twice about sex on the beach. A couple on Bradenton Beach in Florida seemed to think it was totally fine to get it on in full view of dozens of people, including kids, in the middle of the day. Reportedly, people watched, dumbstruck, while Jose “Benny” Caballero and Elissa Alvarez had sex for about 25 minutes. One heroic grandma on the scene got fed up and pulled out her phone to take a video of the couple. According to the epically giggle-worthy news report by Fox 13 Tampa Bay, the unidentified grandmother ”is outraged since her grandchildren saw this, and of course, they started asking questions.” Oh, I’m sure they had plenty of questions. After their first go at it, the couple laid down like nothing had happened and slept for hours. According to the grandma, ”We thought they were dead, but when they woke up, they cuddled for a while, then started into the same thing they did before.” A parent who was also on the beach called the police, who arrived to arrest the two. Caballero and Alvarez were charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and later released on a bond. [Gawker]

Real Talk: On Debra Harrell’s Arrest, Motherhood & Race

Real Talk: On Debra Harrell's Arrest, Motherhood & Race

In last week’s Mommie Dearest column, I wrote about Debra Harrell, a South Carolina mother who was arrested for “abandoning” her nine-year-old daughter at a park while she worked at a nearby McDonald’s. (Just yesterday we learned that Harrell has been let go from her job.) I had mentioned in my post that Harrell is Black, prompting a few folks to ask why I needed to note her race. Instead of penning my own response, I thought it would be a good idea to hear from women of color who are mothers. We gathered for a virtual roundtable to discuss Harrell’s situation and  explorehow race impacts motherhood in the United States today. Meet:

Our conversation begins after the jump: Keep reading »

The Twee Font On Kendall Jenner’s Topless Magazine Cover Is Giving Me The Creeps

The Twee Font On Kendall Jenner's Topless Magazine Cover Is Giving Me The Creeps

Kendall Jenner is topless on the cover of the July issue of Love magazine, and something about the cover’s kiddie-style layout feels super skeevy to me. Despite the very grownup-looking photo, the font on the cover is really childlike, and the twee little cartoon flowers and snails don’t help either. Beyond the weirdness of referring to an adult woman posing nude as a “girl,” it’s kind of impossible not to make the association that American Girl is also the title of a magazine and doll line for young girls. Ick. It’s tough not to think of 18-year-old Kendall as perpetually young because she’s always been the little sister to the other Kardashian ladies, and I know she’s a legal grownup now, but I just can’t get past the creep factor. Does anybody else find it totally offputting? [Huffington Post]

Dater X: Of Course, It’s Too Early To Know If He’s The One

Dater X: Of Course, It's Too Early To Know If He's The One
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

For the past 10 months or so that I’ve been sharing my love life with you as Dater X, my search for a soul mate has gone from a persistent, relentless hunt to a deeper understanding of myself and of what I’m looking for in a lifelong partner. It’s not always easy to hop on here week after week and divulge my successes, failures, pain and mishaps to a world of strangers, but I choose to do it because I want to. I like it. Writing about my experiences forces me to sit back, relive and reevaluate the situations I find myself in, which is a great form of cheap therapy if you ask me. But in addition to that, I’m able to ingest all of your comments about my dating life and look at my world from a different perspective. Many of you have been down this road before, others are traveling along with me. Sometimes your comments provide sound advice, but at the end of the day, it’s my journey. I have to follow my heart and go with my gut, knowing that you’re all only seeing one small, 800-word piece of a much larger puzzle. This is one of those times. Keep reading »

Paris Hilton On Her Sex Tape: “I Don’t Think I’ll Be Able To Fully Trust Any Man Again”

 ”It was devastating because that was someone I was with for a few years. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully trust any man again after that. It was just the most hurtful and awful thing that anyone could do to a little girl. I was very young, it wasn’t my fault.”

It’s not often — okay, it’s never — that Paris Hilton inspires sympathy. But in a certain light, you could also look at her as the world’s most famous revenge porn victim. She spoke to the UK’s Telegraph about her DJing career (roll eyes) and addressed how she was affected by that 2004 sex tape. “1 Night In Paris” was apparently laked by her ex-boyfriend/co-star Rick Salomon around the time her reality show “The Simple Life” came out. Some believed that Paris released it herself for publicity. But I believe her that she’s actually vain enough not to release a sex tape in night vision and that this was actually a humiliating experience for her.

It is creepy that Paris refers to herself as “a little girl,” though. She was 23 when that sex tape came out. [Telegraph UK]

The Soapbox: On Trigger Warnings & Facing Trauma

The Soapbox: On Trigger Warnings & Facing Trauma

When I got to my friend’s place for my self-defense lessons last week, he told me we were going to do basic self-defense techniques and toward the end, simulated assaults. The simulated assaults were walk-bys: We would walk across the room in opposite directions and he would either do nothing, or he’d very suddenly grab my throat and wrist. The purpose was to train me to react quickly and correctly if it were to happen to me in real life.

But it had happened to me in real life, and after the first or second walk-by, I wound up having visceral, vivid flashbacks to my former partner putting me in arm locks and finger locks, pinning me, kicking me, putting his hand over my mouth, pushing my head into the floor or the bed. I hyperventilated and cried, and my friend hugged me and helped me calm down. He also didn’t let me stop, because the things I experience will upset me sometimes and I still have to know how to handle it, especially when physical danger is involved.

Which brings me to trigger warnings. Keep reading »

OMG I Love Your Hair (OK, My Hair): A Subtle Braid Amongst Curls

OMG I Love Your Hair: A Subtle Braid Amongst Curls

This past weekend I served as a bridesmaid in my good friend’s wedding, and prior to the big day, had been endlessly searching for the perfect Grecian hairstyle to go with my very goddess-ey gown. When I looked online, I saw a lot of braids, curls and accessories, but none that really combined all three in the elegant, romantic way that I was looking for (especially since I have a cowlick and no bangs). Thankfully, my hair was in the hands of geniuses. Two amazing stylists from Salon Q in Tenafly, New Jersey knew exactly what to do with my long locks. They kept my hair soft in the front, added a pretty pin to either side of my head just above my ears, and incorporated a small braid on one side of my head that trailed back to a nest of pretty curls. I got the Greek goddess look I was hoping for and received tons of compliments on my ‘do! I couldn’t not share…

What A Relief: The Real Larry From “Orange Is The New Black” Is Not Such A Schmuck

It’s strange that my own story has now been told in my wife’s memoir and, in a way, by the Netflix adaptation of it, yielding such delights in my inbox as a link to an article called “A Guide to the Internet’s Love of Hating Larry Bloom From ‘Orange Is the New Black.’” What can you do with that? Well, I read every word, clicked on every link, and laughed my ass off, appreciating the passion and level of detail that went into documenting the love of hating Larry Bloom. And when my friend’s teenage daughter texts me to say that she just wants me to know I am so much cooler than that guy, I appreciate that, too. …  I stuck by Piper because it never occurred to me to do anything else. I later signed a marriage contract with Piper Kerman, and a life rights release with Jenji Kohan and Netflix. And now, here’s my version of the story. If you ever meet me, I hope you’ll discover I am neither the saint of Piper’s book, nor the schmuck of a hit show.

Never before have pop culture consumers of the world been united in such certainty: we hate Larry Bloom, Piper’s ex-fiance on “Orange Is The New Black.” Just seeing Jason Biggs’ face on my computer screen brings on the douchechills. ‘Tis a pity for real-life Larry, an editor and writer named Larry Smith, who finally opened up about being half of Netflix’s most famous couple in a long essay for Medium. Keep reading »

Heroin Killed Socialite Peaches Geldof

  • Socialite Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose, a coroner has confirmed. The 25-year-old mother of two was found dead in her UK home with one of her young sons beside her earlier this year. [US Weekly]
  • Zoe Saldana reportedly has a baby growing in that belly. [US Weekly]
  • “Glee” star Naya Rivera married actor Ryan Dorsey this weekend. She split from a former fiancé, rapper Big Sean, in April. [People] Keep reading »

Newsflash: Divorce Doesn’t Always Work Out Well For Women

Disclose Your Divorce
dating donts divorce
... and other facts you should be open about on your online dating profile. Read More »
Let's Talk Divorce
Should marriage be a renewable contract? Read More »
Housework & Divorce
laundry basket
Wait, what? Housework equality can lead to a higher divorce rate. Read More »
Newsflash: Divorce Doesn't Always Work Out Well For Women

So here’s a thing that is making my eye twitch: There is a (fringe) group of people — mostly men — who believe that divorce is, basically, a feminist conspiracy meant not to empower women to live autonomous lives (y’know, the whole “pursuit of happiness” thing) but to allow women to destroy men’s lives.

This is largely a product of the Red Pill community. For the vast numbers of people who live in blessed ignorance of Red Pill, it’s a group of people (again, mostly men) who believe that they’ve “taken the red pill” (à la “The Matrix”) and embraced the painful reality that our society is increasingly being set up to disadvantage men. Not that this is an actual reality: They believe that “involuntary celibacy” exists, i.e. they are having celibacy forced on them; they are disadvantaged for being virgins; their entire identity is wrapped up in having or not having sex. They’re the notorious believers in pick-up artistry, a concept that posits that since all women are brainless automatons, there’s a magical formula of actions and behaviors you can adopt to manipulate women into sleeping with you. They’re so obsessed with false rape accusations that they practically never actually validate the fact that women in America are raped (and then, if she was, of course, she probably deserved it). They buy into the “alpha/beta” social theory (because humans are dogs!). They talk about women in terms of monetary value. They believe they are buying their “partners.”

And they hate divorce, because in the Red Pill community’s minds divorce is a system set up to allow women to vacuum money out of men’s bank accounts and steal children away from their fathers. They believe men should be able to divorce women for even spurious reasons, but women should be shamed for getting divorced (by the way, read all of these links at the risk of your sanity). Keep reading »

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