Oh, Kim. I guess at this point I should probably stop pitying the critically dim lighting in your headspace and start actively rallying against you instead, considering it is just that deer-in-the-paparazzi-flashbulbs lunacy that is to thank for the $40 million sitting in your bank account. Lo, when you go around posing yourself in a mimicking fashion next to classic images of Elizabeth Taylor, there is naught for me to do but shake my head and mime a quick Hail Mary. I mean, what is WITH our effectively useless faux-lebrities likening themselves to entertainment icons? Kimye: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton for the selfie generation? Certainly not. [Instagram]
I hate the term holiday blues. I think that’s because when I was 19, December rolled around and I fell into a full-blown depression, complete with sleepless nights, loss of appetite and thoughts of suicide. The holiday blues sound like an uptempo jazz standard compared to the nightmarish thoughts blaring in my head. I’m hardly the only college student who has teetered on the brink of a breakdown. It’s practically a cliche to experience some sort of mental and emotional suffering when you’re that age. But at the time, it didn’t feel like a cliche. It felt like the fight of my life, the recovery from which, with the help of therapy, was an epic journey up from an underworld I feared I might inhabit for the rest of my life. Months later, sitting in my therapist’s office, trying to solve a Rubick’s Cube that she kept on her desk, I clicked one row of orange squares together and felt a spark of hope. I woke up the next morning and thought, What’s for breakfast? I knew I was doing a lot better — at least enough to begin to function again.
I’ve never suffered another episode of depression, but ever since then, I’ve never experienced a happy holiday season either. I know that this is a particularly difficult time of year for many people. Especially those who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or those who are grappling with more tangible hardships like financial struggles or a death in the family. I wish I could say I had a definitive reason to feel so meh in December. It’s much harder to pin down my discomfort around this time of year because it’s not related to my external circumstances — I have a wonderful family, great friends, a happy relationship and a job I love. I have much to be grateful and joyous about and I know it. The thing is, I consider myself a more-or-less happy person — at least for big pockets of time year-round. I understand how to access joy more often as I get older — positive thoughts, low expectations, balance. Even still, at this time of year, despite my best efforts, despite all my blessings, I find myself hanging on tight and crossing my fingers that I don’t spiral into darkness again. Keep reading »
When Argentinian filmmaker Paula Schargodsky found herself 35, single and accidentally having slept through her last uncoupled friend’s wedding, she knew there was something “she didn’t want to face.” As the only single one left in her circle, she decided to make a documentary film about the “questions [she was struggling] to answer” about the expiration date on female freedom. Schargodsky used “systematically kept” footage of her “love stories and breakups,” her “friends with their boyfriends, then husbands, then pregnant bellies” from the last 10 years to explore the question: “Can social mandates be disregarded, or is my extended youth finally coming to its end?” Keep reading »
We knew “funeral selfies” were all the rage for the young, dumb and impressionable … but President Obama took one, too? Here’s the president, British Prime Minister David Cameron, and Danish Prime Minister Helle-Thorning-Schmidt taking a selfie at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. How very gauche of them at a solemn occasion. I know funerals are boring, but this is not a good look. See, even Michelle is pretending she doesn’t know you. [Mediaite] [Image via Mediaite]
Yesterday, I told you that Britney Spears recently confessed that making “Chaotic,” her reality show with her then-husband Kevin Federline, was her “worst career decision.” On one hand, I see what Britney means. After years of being beloved by the tabloids, especially as one-half of a super couple with fellow pop star Justin Timberlake, Britney was already being scrutinized for her relationship with Federline and for showing the cracks in what had been a rather pristine image. Suddenly she was wearing trucker hats and eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in public with her trashy boyfriend! The scandal!
“Chaotic” further pulled back the curtain on what was, I think, the real Britney — a burping country girl who became the most famous pop star in the world who couldn’t stand to fake perfection for a second longer. After “Chaotic,” of course, things spiraled out of control — after a brief period of happiness with Federline, which produced two sons, Britney had a mental breakdown that she has yet to fully bounce back from. In that sense, “Chaotic” was a bad career move because it showed to the world what Britney’s handlers were desperate to keep hidden. But honestly, I loved “Chaotic.” I think it shows Britney at her most authentic, before the push and pull between who she is and what was expected of her became too much to bear. This Britney I love. Funny, sweet, weird and spontaneous, “Chaotic” covers a period of Britney’s life when she was in the midst of messily seeking freedom. And did I mention that the show was epically GIF-able? Keep reading »
“I’m not a real social-media person. I’m not on Twitter … I try not to read too much online because I always get my feelings hurt, even if someone’s flattering you. Like somebody tweeting, ‘Call me crazy, but I think Amy Poehler’s attractive.’ And you’re like, ‘OK? Thank you?’ Or like someone writing, ‘I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I’d have sex with Amy Poehler.’…The amount of Instagram selfies seems crazy out-of-control…The idea of, ‘This is my face and everyone needs to see it all the time,’ is so far from the privacy that people used to seek. Now everyone acts the way ’80s performance artists used to act. Everybody’s Karen Finley. Everybody’s like, ‘This is my vagina! I’m gonna put shit all over me and take pictures!’…When I was a kid, you’d go to a party or a punk rock show and you’d have fun, and you’d bring a camera, and you’d take pictures, and those pictures would stay inside the camera…Pictures were an addition to the experience. Now the picture is the experience. If I’m hanging out with a friend, and they take a picture of me, it’s like ‘Ugh.’ I mean, I hate looking at pictures of myself. It immediately takes me out of the experience.”
–Amy Poehler explains her social media aversion in Paper magazine. God, I can relate. And I’m not famous. Mean internet comments have made me cry and I almost never tweet because I’m too long-winded for 140 characters. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. As far as the selfies, I understand her stance, but often enjoy looking at others’ selfies out of sheer fascination, horror or even admiration. But she’s right in the sense that performance artist Karen Finley is best enjoyed live. For those of you who’ve never seen her, she’s famous for shoving a yam up her ass on stage and covering her naked body in stuff like honey and feathers. It’s quite captivating. [Paper Magazine]
As we ponder whether Lindsay Lohan ordered a hit on Barron Hilton, you may be asking yourself, Hmm, what are the other Lohan children up to? The fruitful womb of Dina Lohan spawned many other children, though none are quite as famous. Last time we saw Aliana Lohan, she was breaking into the modeling biz and maybe-getting plastic surgery. Turns out, she’s got a set of pipes on her, too. Here’s a bashful yet endearingly charming Ali singing a part from Christina Aguilera’s song “Beautiful.” She’s OK, no? [YouTube.com/AlianaLohan]
I had a drink with a friend the other night who spent the entire time pouting as he regaled me with the latest details of his most recent failure in the dating world. “Girls don’t like me because they don’t like nice guys!” he said. “Girls only like assholes. No one ever wants to date me because I’m too nice,” he whined.
I’ve had this conversation multiple times with lots of my guy friends, and the one thing I always tell them is this: women do like nice guys, because no one wants to be with a jerk, but there’s a difference between being a Nice Guy and being a guy who is nice. Recognizing the difference between the two is key. Keep reading »
Christmas has come early! Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are BACK, but a seemingly more humbled version of their once-egomaniacal selves. Last night, E! aired the special, “Heidi & Spencer: After Shock” (trailer above), which tells the Speidi story in the couple’s own words, including where they’ve been since they fell off the radar a couple years ago. In short, the producers of “The Hills,” which made the couple famous, convinced them to act like total dickweeds, then the fame went to their heads, they spent all of their money, tried everything to get it back, and have now realized none of it was worth it. Away from the limelight, they have realized what’s important — and that is setting the record straight by doing a special on E! and trying to improve their public image so Spencer will give Heidi a baby. Keep reading »
This summer, George Zimmerman was acquitted in the murder of Travyon Martin, a 17-year-old unarmed Black teenager. Last month, Zimmerman was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, battery domestic violence, and criminal mischief after he allegedly pointed a shotgun at his girlfriend. Yesterday, Zimmerman submitted a signed affadavit from Samantha Scheibe stating she does not want him charged and requesting contact with each other.
Scheibe called 911 outside her Florida home after an argument with Zimmeran during which she asked him to leave. He allegedly pointed a shotgun at her “for a minute,” smashed a table, and then shoved her out her front door and barricaded it with furniture. She can be heard on the call yelling at him while some of this is allegedly happening. (He made a 911 call of his own while she was talking to police, claiming Scheibe was “going crazy on me.”) Scheibe also told police that Zimmerman had choked her during an argument recently, but she had not reported it. Zimmerman was released on bail under the condition that he not possess any weapons. Keep reading »