Even the biggest slut you know (probs me?) ain’t got nothin’ on a horny Neanderthal. Our ancestors were some freaky bitches — that’s where you get it from, Frisky readers! Mystery solved. Earlier this week, a team of Canadian and British scientists unveiled a way to test just how big a tramp your great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were. Apparently, a propensity for promiscuity is related to prenatal androgens. Those hormones also govern the finger-size ratio.
After carefully examining the remains of early apes, hominins, Ardipithecus ramidus, and Australopithecus afarensis, the researchers were able to show a trend in ye ol’ hoes. The more skanky and sex-loving the early human, the lower index-to-ring finger ratio. By comparatively measuring, blah, blah, blah, science. Let’s get to the good part: how to test your own loosey-goosey legacy, after the jump!
Step 1: Put your palm in the air like you’s a true playah. Or photocopy it when no one at your office is looking.
Step 2: Measure both your index and ring finger from the base fold to the tippity top! No nails included, cheaters.
Step 3: The closer your ring finger is to the size of your index finger, the more of a ho your ancestors were. The more you know!
Step 4: If you can, go around bragging, “I come from a long line of sluts! This isn’t a one-night stand; this is me celebrating my heritage. Now take off your pants.” [The Hairpin]