Meet (Not-So) Cute: Couples Share Their NSFW “How We Met” Stories

You know what they say about meeting the One: “it happens when you least expect it.”

Now, when people invoke that particular cliché we all usually picture bumping into our soulmate in a store at Christmastime or jumping out of cab while they’re trying to get into one on New Years Eve. Our eyes meet and the air takes on an electric energy. You feel an instantaneous connection that your life is forever changed as the first snowflakes being to fall.

It’s all very romantic.

Or, you know… It’s basically a porn.

Here are some stories that proves that it can happen when you least expect it, but it almost never happens in the way you expect it…


1. Was out for my birthday one night, obviously I wanted to get my end away so I went to find a coworker who I knew I could get it on with (had done a few times before). Instead, she introduced me to her friend who almost immediately rammed her tongue down my throat. Not long after that she dragged me to the girls toilet, sucked me off, then I bent her over the toilet before being kicked out of the club. Walked her home because I’m a “gentleman” then banged her in the back of her car.

9 1/2 years later we’re engaged and have a 2 year old son. Also, she f**king hates that story. (r0baj0b)

2. I actually met my husband at work, but…I had recently dated and broke up with a guy I had been crushing on for years. I decided I was going to have a fling. A one night stand. My boss introduced the new guy to me and said “mel2mdl will show you everything.” Hell yes, I will! After all, he had a cute ass.

He just never went home. We dated for almost 3 years, have been married for 24. Have a 21 year old child too. Still love him and he still has a cute ass. My first and only attempt at a one-night stand. Failed miserably. (mel2mdl)

3. We had been friends for 7 years, never talked about dating. We go to a bar one day, have a few, and I send my brother a selfie saying “hey, remember her?” He responded with “bang her”. I try to hide the text but she says “no no what does it say?” I show her the text and she shrugs “why not?” That woman is my wife now. (askmrlizard)

4. Went down to the beach on the 4th of July for some heavy drinking and whiffle ball. A cute blonde girl walked up to me and said “you look like lieutenant Dan…with legs” and then wandered off. A mutual friend of ours walked up and told me it was her first time doing mushrooms. I decided to take some mushrooms and tracked her down a little later. Best decision I ever made. We’ve been together for nine years now. (jatman4)

5. This girl I had met texted me asking if I wanted to come swimming. A bunch of our friends were there, but afterwards only me and my friend and two girls wanted to stay out and drink. We all went back to my friends house and somehow it came up that the girls would kiss if me and my friend did. I gave my buddy a peck on the cheek and the two girls made out. The two girls told us they would match whatever we did, at which point, my friends stoned roommate came wandering into the kitchen and hollered “you two should touch d**ks so they have to scissor”. So naturally we slapped d**ks and the girls were immediately out if their element. They asked if they could just fool around topless instead so we agreed. After a few minutes of them fooling around, I grabbed one of the girls clothes and took off out the front door. She chased me and when she went for the clothes I kissed her. We made out and ended up going back inside and having sex on the couch. Five years later and we’re married and she’s pregnant. (TheTunaSurprise)

6. I met my husband at a strip joint. I was making sure my thigh high fishnets were even before going on stage and caught him staring at me with his mouth hanging open. I laughed and rolled my eyes. He closed his mouth and grinned back.He tipped me a 20 while I was on stage and I sat with him the whole night laughing and talking. He tipped me every time I was on stage but never asked for a dance and I never left his table unless I had to. I only made $120 that night.20 years and two kids later he passed away right before our 17th anniversary. (photoautotroph)

7. Recently single and toey as hell, i went to a brothel for a bit of company. Picked a lady and paid for a few hours of her service. During we exchanged numbers and went on a date afterwards, now we’ve been dating 3 years, live together and have a baby.She left her old job about 6 months after we started dating. The story we use is “met at a club” (bluebox667)

8. We met at a BDSM/fetish club. We were briefly introduced and within 5 minutes he had me blindfolded, said nasty things to me, and hit and pinched me until I cried. A lot. We’ve been blissfully married for 15 years now. (rubberlovinwife)

9. Was sitting in a bar at last call getting ready to leave, bar maid says: “Don’t leave yet, I have some acid and I love to f**k when I trip”. Together for 25 years. She past on last year and I miss her so much. (macnslaw)

10. We tell people we met at the bar between a mutual friend. Which is true, but what really happened is we all had a 3 some after we all left the bar. He came back to the bar the next night looking for me. We’ve been together ever since, over 2 years ago. (hickboy85)

11. I met my current girlfriend during university. We were in the same social group and she seemed nice enough, very attractive but probably the kind of girl that was way out of my league. Then one day I went to a ‘massage’ parlour where they put you in a waiting room and line the girls up in front of you. You can probably guess who was in the line-up. I still remember it very clearly – standing there among the other girls clad in only a skimpy bikini and heels, blushing furiously because we clearly recognised each other.Unfortunately at the time I was so surprised that I ended up picking somebody else. It was super awkward meeting up in the social circle after that, until I went back to the parlour and picked her the second time around. And now we’ve been together for around 10 years. (ButterOnMyFace)

12. Met at a party, made out so that some other creepy guy would stop talking to her, exchanged numbers, met for drinks a couple days later, went back to her place. Not only did I get laid that night but I stayed over and we fucked most of the next day.We clicked instantly but spent a couple weeks keeping it casual because each of us didn’t want to freak out the other person by jumping into things too quickly. We’ve been together seven years all told, married for the last two. (PapaSmurphy)


In summary, never let your friends tell you not to sleep with someone on the first date if you want to. They could be your one and only—you never know!

Read more NSFW first meeting stories on Reddit!