6 Problems Only Women With Big Knockers Will Understand

As a young girl, I would always stuff my bra to see what I’d look like with bigger breasts. I was around 9 at the time and my lady lumps were nowhere in sight. Oh, but when 13 came around, I got real lucky; My breasts appeared out of nowhere. It was like I went to sleep one night and woke up with a medium-sized chest. From then on, it only got worse. My breasts got bigger and bigger and, before you knew it, I was the youngest child with the biggest boobs in my family.

Now, I’m in a size that’s still closer to the beginning of the alphabet just three times the size of the letter. I’ve grown to love my boobs but there are times when I wish I was a cup or two smaller—you know, so I could wear tanks without a bra and not have to worry about my boobs bouncing everywhere. If you’re not heavy-chested, you wouldn’t understand. Only my girls with big ones can relate to the problems associated with big breasts. Here are some:

1. Not-So-Victoria’s Secret

I buy my panties from Victoria’s Secret but I can’t do the same with my bras. Once upon a time, I could, but because they grow so quickly, I outgrew the store’s biggest size. So, to the plus-sized store it is where I spend big bucks on the biggest. bras. ever. And let’s not even get into woes of trying to find a cute, big bra. Yeah, good luck with that one. Girls with not-so-cute patterned grandma bras and thick straps unite!

2. Bathing Suits Are Trouble

Say no to one-pieces, two-pieces, tankinis, and bikinis. We are far gone from finding anything that can hold all of this heaviness we’re carrying.

3. All the Questions

People of the itty bitty t*tty committee, please stop asking us if our backs hurt. Luckily, I don’t have back issues, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mind you asking me that. Also, just because my boobs are big enough to get attention, it does not give you the OK to ask me what size I am. And no, you can’t feel them! Go away.

4. Exercising

Omg, I had no clue that I couldn’t fit ANY of the bras in the Nike outlet store, nor did I think I would have to double up on sports bras just to get a work out in. And some workouts are just not possible. Who wants their boobs knocking them in the chin when running or doing jumping jacks? And there’s not that much space between the floor and your boobs when doing push-ups. *Sighs* The struggle.

5. Say Bye to Strapless and Backless Thingies

You’ve never envied anyone more than a woman who can freely wear strapless and backless dresses or tops—pretty much all clothes that don’t require bras.

6. Pregnancy Frightens You

You’re scared to get preggo because, even though you love and embrace your breasts, you’d lose it if they get any bigger. You know who knows a thing or five about big boob problems? Rachel Bloom, that’s who. Watch her let it all loose, literally: