The 3 Reasons You Should Masturbate at Work and How to Do It

If masturbating at work was never an option for you, it may be something to think about. Working a steady job, 8 hours straight can be a bit of a headache, not to mention, very stressful. Breaks are well-needed; They not only help us to recoup and regroup, but they also help us relieve ourselves of stress that happens during everyday work days. If you’ve watched The Wolf of Wall Street, then you know there’s a superb method to the madness of jerking off at work. If you haven’t seen the movie, here are 3 reasons you should masturbate at work.

1. It Makes You Super Happy

Masturbation isn’t only super fun and super healthy, but it makes you super happy. It can relieve tension, stress, and when you’re having those head-nodding moments in front of your computer, it can boost your energy. When you orgasm, your body releases the happy chemicals dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin, giving your body a significant impact on your motivation, productivity, and well-being.

2. Your Creative Juices will Flow

Having writer’s block? Feeling stuck on a project? Masturbating at work can give you a great boost in creativity. Sex toy company Hot Octopuss created a portable masturbation booth for men to visit in between breaks at work. Operators of the New York booth conducted a survey and found that 40% of male workers in NY participate in self pleasure while on the job. Go figure.

3. Brings on Productivity and Work Focus

Once your creative flow is on fleek, so is your productivity. Psychologist and life coach Dr. Cliff Arnall agrees that masturbating at work is the way to go. “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling. Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus,” he told Cosmopolitan.

HOW TO TIPS

Now that you know the effects of masturbating at work and are probably persuaded to rub yourself the right way (hopefully), here are a few tips on making it happen, discreetly:

  • Be über discreet. No one wants to actually see you choke your chicken or DJ your turntable. Go to your car, or even better, if you live close by, run home for a few minutes. Just make sure you don’t do it inside of your actual place of work.
  • Do it because you need a burst of energy, creativity, or your just need to clear your head. Not because you’re feeling all lusty and whatnot.
  • Be quick. Get in there, get’er done, and get back to work. Feeling refreshed, of course.
  • Here’s the last one, and most important: Don’t pleasure yourself to thoughts of a co-worker. You don’t want to be on any grounds that makes you look like a perv or giving unwanted sexual attention in a work place. Sexual harassment is real.