Parents think these creepy toys are saying “fuck me” in their sleep, which makes sense in 2016

Apparently one of the hottest toys for the holidays this year was Hatchimals, interactive animals that hatch out of plastic eggs. Normally, the Furby-esque toys just speak gibberish, but some parents claim Hatchimals are muttering “fuck me” in their sleep. While pretty amusing, imagining a fury stuffed animal quietly talking in its sleep is so incredibly creepy. Nope. Kill it with fire.

The toy’s parent company, Spin Master, denies these claims, telling CNNMoney, “Hatchimals communicate by speaking their own unique language, which is made of up of random sounds, and by making other noises, including shivering when they’re cold and snoring while they sleep. We can assure consumers that Hatchimals do not curse, nor do they use foul language.”

Some more optimistic parents think the fur balls are actually saying “hug me,” rather than “fuck me,” but Spin Master says they only make unidentifiable noises while sleeping. But, Hatchimals can repeat words and phrases they hear from humans — just like a parrot — so it’s possible someone cussed at these rogue toys and they learned the word “fuck.” If this is the case, I would really like to meet the random Hatchimals factory worker going around to the toys and teaching them to say “fuck me.” Employee of the month.

Canadian dad Nick Galego videoed his kid’s Hatchimal saying what sounds like “fuck me” over and over again while snoozing in its plastic egg. From listening to the video, it’s possible the toy is saying either “fuck me” or “hug me,” but Galego told CTV Vancouver Island, “I’m pretty sure it says ‘fuck me.’” The Galegos don’t plan on returning the toy though, since it doesn’t bother their son, who’s clueless to the cursing. “If he was a little bit older we might be more offended about it,” Galego’s wife, Sarah, told CTV.

A few other people have posted videos of Hatchimals saying “fuck me” too, but they could just be sad and bored and teaching the toys the phrase to join in on the fun (read: creepiness).

It doesn’t really matter why or how the Hatchimals are maybe possibly cussing on their own — I would throw the toy into the ocean to be safe. (Yes, that is considered polluting, but I think it’s understandable when destroying demonic children’s toys). At least they aren’t muttering “fuck you” or “I’ll kill you” in their sleep. That would certainly be grounds to kill them with fire.

Tags: hatchimals, kids, toys