Donald Trump’s doctor doesn’t really care if “something happens to him,” and we totally get it

Much was made of Hillary Clinton’s health on the campaign trail, with some going so far as to suggest she was secretly terribly ill and/or dead and all her public appearances were made by a body double. But alas, all of those conspiracy theories and Republicans’ characteristically feigned concern over a woman’s health hardly matter now since Donald Trump will actually be our president. According to a 2015 note from his doctor, Harold Bornstein (totally, totally not written by Trump himself), his health is “astonishingly excellent.” But in an interview with health and sciences publication Stat News, Trump’s physician responded to questions on his health in a surprisingly blasé manner.

Asked about the possibility of Trump dying in office, Bornstein was pretty callous, and we get it. We wouldn’t exactly be heartbroken, but nor would we rejoice, if something truly awful were to happen and Trump’s health were to deteriorate. “If something happens to him [in office], then it happens to him,” Bornstein told the publication, probably mid-shrug. “It’s like all the rest of us, no? That’s why we have a vice president and a speaker of the House and a whole line of people. They can just keep dying.”

They can just keep dying. This man has a way with words; someone give him an award.

Bornstein first caught the media’s attention last year when he released a bizarre letter written in true Trump fashion, singing the praises of the then-Republican presidential candidate’s flawless health. Comedians and social media at the time speculated that the open letter had been written by none other than Trump himself, although months later, Bornstein revealed he had actually written the note in five minutes while waiting curbside for a limousine sent by Trump to pick him up. Which… sounds reasonable enough.

But as it turns out, as Stat News’ profile reveals, Bornstein has yet to really, like, actually consider how Trump is the oldest man in the history of our nation to be sworn into office. “It never occurred to me that he was the oldest president, not for a second,” Bornstein said, before referencing Ronald Reagan’s pre-senile dementia in an admirable attempt to reassure all of us. “I mean, seriously, did they share that one with you, or did Nancy just cover it up?” he… joked?

“Well, I’m fortunate there’s nothing seriously wrong with [Trump],” Bornstein said, since, fortunately for him, bigotry, misogyny, arrogance, and an aversion to the truth aren’t exactly health issues. But here’s the real kicker: Bornstein also noted how, sure, Trump is “a few pounds overweight, which everybody can see, and that’s it.” I’m sure Trump, who loathes and discourages media from using photos where he appears to have a double chin, will take that comment well.