Evil Parents Decided to Tell Their Kids Santa Isn’t Real. So Happy Holidays, Suckers!
Punking small children is always funny, in that Jimmy Kimmel “We ate all your Halloween candy” way. But is it as funny when the truth you’re dropping is actually, well, truth? Yes, it is. It’s very amusing to watch small children grapple with the fact that they’ve been lied to for their entire barely-a-decade-long existence. WatchCut Video gathered a group of families and had parents tell their kids that Santa Claus isn’t real and the results are actually very, very amusing. If only because most of the kids just don’t believe their parents, the same parents the kids (likely) ask about ten thousand questions on a daily basis and believe.
Nope, when it comes to Santa, the Christmas magic is just too strong. If you think about it too much (like I apparently have), it’s a very good example that when human beings really, really want to believe something is real, no amount of logic can save them. Like women who believe birth control is abortion or corporate CEOs who think that their tax breaks are saving the economy. But it’s the holiday season, so let’s pretend all of that isn’t real either for a few minutes.
Apparently, apart from one or two know-it-alls, kids’ faith in a large white dude coming down the chimney to eat cookies and drop off Hatchimals and video game consoles (MADE BY ELVES) is just too strong.
There are a few kids who get it, right away. One small girl just says, “I told ya,” to her brother which is exactly what I did to my sweet, sweet, asshole of a little brother circa 1994. He still holds it against me, which is exactly why I almost want to commend the grown-ups on the couch for being strong enough to break it to their spawn that they’ve been lying to them this whole time.
Other kids need some convincing, like one small kid who does his best to talk his parents out of it. A father asks, “How do you think it’s possible that Santa is in every mall?” The poor kid goes, “the more people that believe in Santa, the faster he can fly.” Oh, shit, we’re all in trouble.
Other children just try to take it all in without losing their shit entirely.
One kid is legit annoyed that his mom is the “real” Santa who eats all of his cookies and sheds a solo tear at the terrible news. His mom asks him (like any smart parental unit would) if he will still make cookies for the holidays. “Yes, I make them with all my heart,” he responds. KILL ME NOW THE INNOCENCE IS TOO MUCH. But that sweater, tho.
The upside is that most of the kids who process the fact come out unscathed so hold your judgement. And the ones who don’t believe their parents? I appreciate their skepticism. Think about it — how much would you believe someone who swears steamed broccoli is good for you and makes you wear an itchy sweater for an internet video? Stay curious, you smart little jerks.
I’m just jealous, really, because I secretly want to live in a world where presents appear from nowhere and everyone likes my baking.