A woman found a venomous snake around her Christmas tree, in case you forgot we’re living in the End Times
In the great biblical apocalypse that 2016 has appeared by all accounts to be, it’s probably not even that surprising anymore to walk into your home and find a freaking tiger snake wrapped around your Christmas tree. Truly, I feel like if I walked in on that insane shit right about now I’d be like, “Yep, of course. Sure. Why not.” Still, no matter who you are or where you’re from (sorry, Backstreet Boys ref was unintentional), that’s obviously going to be a jarring experience, even if it does seem like the next logical step in 2016 because what is even happening anymore.
Anyway, this woman in particular was a Melbourne resident who discovered the snake in her Christmas tree on Sunday morning (told you, biblical). She stayed calm, took a photo, and quarantined the snake so she could call in a professional snake catcher with the most professional snake catcher name possible, Barry Goldsmith. Yep, that definitely sounds like a professional snake catcher to me. For sure. Absolutely. What other job could you possibly have with that name? The answer is zero other jobs.
Barry Goldsmith, Snake Catcher To The Stars (I gave him this name, he did not name himself this at all), told The Guardian that the type of snake the woman found on her tree, tiger snakes, “are very good climbers” and that sees tiger snakes often, though probably not on Christmas trees inside people’s homes.
Snake Catcher Victoria Australia (home of the legendary Barry Goldsmith, natch) also posted about the epic holiday event involving snakes because hello, end times, on Facebook, saying:
“Cheryl from Frankston got an early Christmas surprise this morning when she found a new decoration had been added to her tree.
She didn’t panic, she just took a photo and sent it to the snake catcher, me, and 20 minutes later I had the little bugger in a bag.
Ho Ho Ho
Have a happy and safe holiday season and be nice to snakes.”
Goldsmith also advised that although it’s tempting to try to kill the snake you might find in your home because it’s Australia and I guess that happens there like it’s no big deal at all, killing them “[is] dangerous, it’s illegal, and it’s cruel.” Also, trying to kill a giant snake is like literally my worst nightmare, so good for you if you even considered that shit for a minute.
Oh, and also, heed Barry’s words and be nice to snakes. You know, in the like zero daily interactions you have with snakes.