Sofía Vergara’s legal battle over her frozen embryos just got so bizarre

Sofía Vergara is in a contentious legal battle with her ex, Nick Loeb, over her frozen embryos, and the fight took a very odd (and kinda creepy) turn Tuesday. After Loeb dropped his lawsuit in California seeking “custody” of the fertilized eggs, Vergara’s frozen embryos reportedly sued her in Louisiana. Now, if you’re anything like me, you may be asking yourself, “How exactly can a frozen pile of DNA sue someone?” What a great question, friend.

First of all, Vergara’s lawyer contends that they aren’t even embryos, but frozen fertilized ova. The pre-embryos, named “Emma” and “Isabella” in the lawsuit, are listed as the plaintiffs in the case, along with James Carbonnet, their “trustee,” Page Six reports. The not-yet-fetuses (seemingly backed by Loeb) are suing the actress for depriving them of an inheritance from a trust that was created for them in Louisiana (seemingly by Loeb). That’s some fancy fucking maneuvering on Loeb’s part in an attempt to get the pre-embryos fertilized by his sperm.

The former couple previously signed papers at the ART Reproductive Center in Beverly Hills saying neither person could turn the embryos into actual humans without the other’s consent, and the lawsuit reportedly claims the contract violated California code and Louisiana law, on top of not clarifying what should happen if the lovers broke up (which they did).

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Filing the reported lawsuit in Louisiana is clearly an attempt to take the case to a more pro-life, pro-embryo rights state where Loeb is more likely to win.

Vergara’s lawyer, Fred Silberberg, didn’t exactly confirm the lawsuit’s existence, but said in a statement to Us Weekly, “That genetic material was created pursuant to a written agreement that required both parties written consent to attempt to create a pregnancy … Reports are out that Mr. Loeb has caused a lawsuit to be filed on behalf of the pre-embryos in Louisiana, essentially trying to get the same relief that he was trying to get through his failed legal attempt in California.”

Though some think whatever comes of Vergara’s and Loeb’s legal dispute will set a precedent for how men’s rights to frozen embryos will be handled, this is mostly just a scorned man who’s willing to go to extreme lengths to have a child with his ex. Because of their previous contract, no one really has ownership of the pre-embryos, so this isn’t about “men’s rights” vs. “women’s rights” regarding fertilized eggs.

Vergara has a right to not have frozen embryos created from her eggs placed in a surrogate to produce a child that is biologically Vergara’s. However, only time will tell what Louisiana’s legal system will make of this confusing debacle.