People are trolling the hell out of this Donald Trump Christmas ornament on Amazon
Now that Donald Trump is on the way to the White House, he’s trying to sell off his old campaign merchandise, including a very special “Make America Great Again” Christmas tree ornament. In that same festive spirit, the American people have unified to troll Trump’s ornament with fake online reviews.
According to an email press release, the ornament (modeled on the red hats Trump supporters wore during the campaign) “commemorates Trump’s commitment to the Christmas spirit.” It costs $210 on Amazon and is (supposedly) made of 14-karat gold. Alternatively, you can buy it for $149 from his official site, but that would require actually visiting a Trump-run website, so no thank you. If an ornament in 14K gold with a three-figure price tag doesn’t demonstrate real concern for disenfranchised Americans, I don’t know what does.
The ornament’s listing on Amazon has been overrun with anti-Trump sentiment disguised as one-star product reviews, such as this gem that read: “I didn’t actually order this but somehow it’s on my tree anyway. I’m trying to make the best of it… at least that’s what people are telling me to do. But I don’t know. I’m trying, but there’s suddenly swastikas painted on my other decorations, half of my presents are just dog s***, and the tree itself is on fire. But my conservative friends are telling me the fire is a good thing and I should just be united in celebrating what this ornament has to offer. They’re also saying I need to leave the tree in my house for four to eight years. That doesn’t sound right. Source?”
I mean, look at it. There’s just so much to loathe.
Other reviews take a more ironic approach, with reviewers claiming to support Trump while in reality drawing attention to his history of misogyny, sexual assault, racism, and overall hypocrisy:
“I bought this ornament thinking that it would make Christmas great again, and I still believe that it will. But I let my teenage daughter hang it on the tree and she says it grabbed her in a very intimate place. I have no idea how that could be. My daughter isn’t even all that attractive, so I really doubt the ornament would have grabbed her in that particular area when it could grab other more attractive girls of legal age with their consent. So my daughter now hates the ornament and swears that if she were old enough to have a say, she never would have voted to have it on our tree… My son, though (also white and very well-dressed) really loves the ornament. So I’m giving it three stars.”
Amazon’s product suggestion algorithms haven’t caught up to the satire yet. The “Customers also viewed…” sidebar includes a Trump-branded women’s G-string and a shirt reading “She wants the D – she got the D,” both from Trump’s official store. Surely nothing can go wrong when reminding users that the president-elect is basically a sex criminal.
If you, as a concerned citizen, want to help make online reviews great again in time for Christmas, the reviews for this ornament are a good place to start. Let’s celebrate this time of love and unity by ripping into Trump together, because togetherness is what the holidays are all about.