Stephen Colbert breaks down the difference between sex and sexual assault for clueless Newt Gingrich

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich sunk to a new level of Newt Gingrich-ness on Fox News’ The Kelly Files Tuesday when he responded to questions about Donald Trump’s treatment of women and sexual assault allegations by claiming Kelly was “fascinated with sex” and didn’t “care about public policy.” Because what’s the difference between sex and non-consensually groping and grabbing women like objects, right? Anyone who cares about whether or not their potential future commander-in-chief has boasted about wealth and fame allowing him to grab women “by the pussy” is clearly just a sex addict! At any rate, on Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert decided to clarify sexual assault for Gingrich.

He opened with a statement of the obvious: Hellooooo, everyone is a little “fascinated with sex,” and if you’re not more interested in sex than public policy, Colbert notes, “there’s a pill for that now.” But that’s beside the point.

“The thing is, [Kelly] isn’t talking about fun time bedroom whoopee-making, she’s talking about assault,” Colbert pointed out, before it occurred to him that *gasp!* maybe the issue here is just that Gingrich doesn’t know the difference between sexual assault and sex because no one’s ever sat him down to have “the talk.” Welp, time to fix that.

Here’s an excerpt of the ridiculously glorious “talk” (dubbed “the birds and the bees and the consent” by Colbert), which really should be shared with every Trump supporter who’s written off Trump’s comments as “locker room talk,” as well as Trump himself, really. “Newt, sweetheart, you’re growing up so fast. In fact, you’re 73,” Colbert explained ever so gently. “Your body’s changing. You’ve probably noticed some strange new hair growing on your earlobes.”

It’s perfectly natural … You see, when a man has special feelings for a woman and he wants to give her a special hug, he asks her a special question: You up?” he continued. “But grabbing a lady because you’re a TV star is not sex; it’s assault. And fun fact: Assault is a matter a public policy, because it’s illegal. Even if you use Tic Tacs.”

For her own part, Kelly managed to defend herself and her interest in Trump’s behavior Tuesday (you know, in a way that will make her seem super ~feminist~ when she isn’t actually at all), responding to Gingrich’s crass observation by telling him she was “not fascinated by sex, but … by the protection of women and understanding what we’re getting in the Oval Office.”

Kelly is a Republican icon, and her party is hardly known for its feminism. Sure, she’s frequently criticizing and clashing with Trump, but over the years Kelly has said no shortage of fucked up things on abortion, racist policing, and so on and so forth. However, her criticism of Trump and defense of women prove that maybe, just maybe, sexual assault can be regarded as a nonpartisan issue.

I really am grateful for Colbert, but it’s hard to celebrate anyone when you consider how disturbing it is that people like Gingrich, Trump (who recently congratulated Gingrich on that bizarre interview), and many of Trump’s supporters still need this shit explained to them.