Martha Stewart sexts so your boyfriend who “just doesn’t know what to say” has no goddamn excuse
There are some things you just can’t un-see or un-hear. This is going to be one of them, and you can blame Ellen DeGeneres. On her show Tuesday, DeGeneres found out that Martha Stewart has sexted, probably more than once in her life. To who? We’ll never know. But this does serve as proof that literally everyone can figure out how to do the deed.
In a game of “Never Have I Ever,” along with Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick, Stewart told DeGeneres that she did know what the kids these days do with their smartphones. “I have used technology for a lot longer than you have, Ellen.” The 75 year old wouldn’t admit if it was a current fling or an old one, but Stewart has proven herself over the years to not be the sweet, crafty, homemaker that she built her brand upon. She has a sense of humor.
Comparing someone to Stewart is usually a way to shame someone into being too perfect or vanilla, but Stewart actually seems like a pretty cool woman. We should all hope to be as sassy and apparently sexual as Stewart is. She’s walking proof that women can bake cakes and make fancy table arrangements and still be a tough cookie. I mean, she went to jail once, remember? People are pretty complex.
This isn’t the first time she’s admitted to getting a little steamy over a mobile network either. According to Us Weekly, Stewart also told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live that she’s sexted before. Cohen was a little less shocked than DeGeneres (who admitted to never having sexted, by the way, which is kind of a bummer because she and Portia DeRossi are a hot duo).
At the time, the Bravo host joked,”I’m so happy to hear that! So that’s who those texts were from the other night.” He tried to get Stewart to admit that she had “dipped her toe in the lady pond,” but she wouldn’t dish on that. So it’s safe to assume there’s a lucky guy out there who gets sexted by Martha Stewart (and probably gets a mean roast chicken or some delicious dinner, too).
Stewart is currently on a cooking show with Snoop Dogg, which premieres Nov. 7 on VH1. So if you need a break from the election that week, this will probably be weirder. Stewart seems to enjoy it though. She told People, “When I watch it, it’s so funny, like that’s me there. It’s a cooking show with celebrity guests and lots of funny talk, silly games, and actual recipes. And Snoop’s a good cook. Who would have thought? It’s a funny show.”
There’s no word yet if they’re making edibles or not. Let’s just hope it’s not Snoop that she’s getting dirty with, because that would be way too much to handle.