9 political Halloween costumes that capitalize on this ridiculous election
For any woman who values her right to choose, and really any marginalized group that values laws and leadership that respect them, boy, has this election season been spooky. Frankly, who even needs Halloween and haunted houses and horror movies with all the terror and suspense inextricably bound to the evening of Nov. 8, am I right? But if after everything you still somehow have the stamina to celebrate Halloween, consider these political costumes. This past election season has been an absolute shit-show, yes, so we might as well use it to capitalize on some savage costume ideas.
From the past debates to all those moments that somehow made you both laugh and cry, there’s no shortage of material to draw inspiration from. We’ve cringed at the idea of a Donald Trump presidency, collectively face-palmed at Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson’s notorious Aleppo gaffe, retweeted dozens of memes of Ted Cruz phone-banking for his former nemesis, prayed to the universe to allow us to become Elizabeth Warren, and sat on the edges of our seats watching Hillary Clinton brave being stalked around the second presidential debate stage. And now, we can take our pick of relevant costumes every politico for miles will be able to recognize.
No shade, but if your goal is to terrify everyone in the millions-strong #NeverTrump camp, take your pick of a wide variety of “Jill not Hill” shirts, or don a plain green shirt with a picket sign reading “Never Hillary.” They’ll get the message all right. The T-shirt above is available at Redbubble.com.
Donald Trump’s worst nightmare…
… A woman who refuses to let him “do anything” to her. Yikes! The above tee is available in a variety of colors at TeePublic.com for $20.
Or dress as Trump’s other nightmare…
… A debate moderator who fact-checks. Arguably debate season’s most renowned moderator, Anderson Cooper, has a pretty easy look to mimic. Take your pick of stylish silver-white wigs (like this one from WigSecret), dark-framed glasses (this $9 pair from EyeBuyDirect.com should do the trick), and a clean suit. Just bring along some savage questions, and you’re all set. Pair the suit with a sleek purple tie to really drive the message home.
Debate stage ghost
Interested in recreating the horror movie that was the second debate? First things first — you’ll need a convincing Trump costume, which you could easily piece together with this $22 Spirit Halloween Trump mask (it includes his signature hair, so you won’t need a wig), a suit, and a red tie. Here’s the only catch: you’ll need a partner dressed as co-debater Clinton to lurk behind if you really want to sell the fact that, no, you’re not just some basic “Donald Trump,” you’re lurking ghost-Donald Trump, and there is a huge difference.
Debate stage ghost’s Clinton
To complete Clinton’s second debate look, opt for a dark navy pantsuit, white blouse, and dark, pointed-toe kitten heels. You could go all the way and top the look off with a short blonde wig, but so long as you’ve got someone dressed as Trump eerily lurking behind you at all times, people will get the message.
Gary “What’s Aleppo?” Johnson
A suit, a genuinely puzzled facial expression, and a sign with the words “what’s Aleppo?” neatly written on it, and you’re all set.
The top 1 percent
Grab your cleanest, most establishment-looking suit that just screams “BILLIONAIRE!!! CLASS!!!” and make yourself a nice, clean sign reading “top 1 percent” (interchangeable with Wall Street, Goldman Sachs, billionaire class, etc.) and simultaneously terrify and enrage every Bernie fan on your street. Feel free to recommend this costume to any old-timer you know furiously trying to get those darned liberal millennials off their lawn, but be warned of people dressed in suits with blue ties, shabby white hair, and big, awkward glasses coming to get you.
Show up to John Stumpf’s house dressed like this:
Grab a purple blazer, black shirt, frameless glasses, and scathing questions attacking fraud at Wells Fargo and you’re bound to terrify at least one man (hint: he recently resigned from his post as CEO of Wells Fargo after being thoroughly humiliated by Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren on the Senate floor).
Sad phone-banking Ted Cruz
If you dressed as the terrifying Texas senator and failed Republican presidential candidate last year, you probably spooked the bejesus out of gay people and uteruses everywhere. This year, you can make up for frightening your community by bringing them a good, long laugh by dressing as sad phone-banking Ted Cruz. All you’ll need is a suit, a Donald Trump placard to shamefully hang from your neck, and either an old telephone with a cord to pathetically carry around with you or a headset. Considering how viral the pitiful video went, people will get the message.
The 2016 election is giving everyone anxiety, so we might as well take advantage of all the jokes it’s given us.