Batman is patrolling a U.K. town to chase away this insane creepy clown phenomenon
Has the pre-Halloween creepy clown craze got you freaked out? Have no fear: a real-life superhero is here. A town in England has enlisted Batman to keep creepy clowns off its streets — because as movies, TV, and comics have taught us, the only thing that can stop a creepy clown is Batman.
Wait, what’s this about creepy clowns scaring innocent people? While they’ve been a modern horror classic ever since Stephen King’s It, this year they’re the hottest trend in primal terror. It all started in South Carolina, where people dressed as clowns were reportedly trying to lure children into the woods. Other creepy clown sightings soon popped up in neighboring states, with no real explanation as to why. As the craze grew, creepy clowns were spotted as far away as Pennsylvania, Minnesota, and, now, Britain.
But when clown fear left the children of Whitehaven, a town in the North of England, too terrified to sleep at night, costume company Cumbria Superheroes began sending out a guy dressed as Batman to patrol the town and make it a safer, creepy clown-free place to live. (News sources agree that there’s only one person in the Batsuit, although his civilian identity remains a secret.)
I mean, this is basically the same as Gotham City, right?
A local child’s effusive thank-you on Facebook suggests that so far, Batman’s presence on Whitehaven’s streets seems to be doing the job. “I have been scared of this clown situation (school told us about it yesterday)…I seen on my mammy[‘s] FB that you caught the clown this means I can go to school and not be scared thank you for your efforts.” If that’s not enough to make you go AWWWWWW, at the end of the post the kid hopes to “see you and your [Bat]mobile” at the town’s Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Other residents had similar praise for the Dark Knight:
“This is exactly what the original Batman idea was … to be a symbol of courage for ordinary folk.”
“Go Batman, someone needs to sort these terrible clowns out.”
Batman’s work is not yet done, however. Creepy clowns are still being sighted in counties around the U.K., and London police have reported numerous incidents of “killer clowns” striking terror into the hearts of citizens. Clearly the U.K. needs some kind of Bat-network, just like in the comics. There could be a Robin in London, a Batgirl in South Wales, and so on, all reporting to the Batman of Whitehaven. Hey, maybe that’s a good idea for the next Batman movie. It’s no dumber than Batman v. Superman.