6 things that are more boring than the vice presidential debate

While the vice presidential debate on Tuesday night marked the one and only debate between Tim Kaine and Mike Pence in the 2016 election cycle, the evening of short, vague answers and deep longing stares into the abyss can leave a viewer desiring pretty much anything else. Yes, watching the vice presidential debate at Longwood University in Farmville, Virginia seems and is indeed a worthy civic duty; after all, these are the two potential sidekick leaders of our free world. However, that doesn’t change the fact that there are few things more boring than the vice presidential debate. The two men were just soul-crushingly dull, while the incredibly composed moderator Elaine Quijano of CBS News interjected with moments of articulation, trying to keep them from talking over each other in inaudible gasps.

Exactly how boring is this debate on a scale of one to playing golf while sober? This is a deeply subjective question to broach, and seems a less effective way of measuring the deep exasperation felt when we remember we’re not watching the first 10 minutes of a parody film, and so, rather than attempting to quantify how boring the debate is, I will leave you with six things that are definitely more boring than the debate. Sadly, it was hard to find that many.

Vacuuming 

Vacuuming straight up sucks and is only considered more boring than this debate because your likelihood of hearing outlandish things about race is very low when vacuuming.

Watching an empty street

It should be clarified this doesn’t apply to actual ghost towns or haunted streets, because those would provide an experience that is deeply spiritual and mysterious, unlike this debate.

Going to a well-organized DMV

If you find yourself at a super disorganized DMV, you might witness a fight or something that raises your blood pressure (thus making it less boring than this debate), but a long sit at a well-organized DMV just might top this debate on the boring meter.

Watching a curling game

I’m sorry Canada, the vice presidential candidates are JUST evil enough they’re more interesting than watching professional curlers.

Stamps

Okay, this is debatable (sorry) because stamps sometimes have intricate and fascinating illustrations, but stamps by themselves just might be more boring than this debate.

A pile of hubcaps

If you look at a pile of hubcaps long and hard enough, you realize how shiny and full of life they are, which almost caused me to eliminate them from this list of things more boring than the debate.

I’m sure I’ll think of more activities and objects that also dull my love of life more than watching these two sad, rich men defend their running mates, but it will take some intense brain scrambling.