Samsung recalls new Galaxy Note 7 smartphones and owners are shit out of luck

Sorry to everyone who claims Samsung phones are a better value than iPhones: Samsung is recalling the new Galaxy Note 7 phone worldwide because the batteries keep exploding while they’re charging. Nice one, guys. There have only been 35 explosions reported, but that’s a pretty big risk to take, as they’ve just started shipping these phones all over the world, so they’re playing it safe and just stopping the sale and shipment of any more of them.

The company says they are investigating the cause of the explosions, telling The Verge, “We will share the findings as soon as possible,” but said in an earlier statement it expected to know what was going on over the weekend or next week.

If you had already rushed out and bought one, Samsung says they will “voluntarily” replace them in the coming weeks. But until then, they don’t really say what else to do. So, either just go get a burner for a few weeks or stay very far away from it while it’s charging. The company also said in a statement that it acknowledges “the inconvenience,” but it’s not just an inconvenience to have a possibly explosive phone that you need to use for everything. I mean, how is a Galaxy Note 7 owner supposed to Instagram their Labor Day adventures, hmm?

Koh Dong-jin, head of the South Korean company’s smartphone business, said at a news conference Friday Samsung wouldn’t specify exactly how many phones have to be recalled, but they did sell 2.5 million phones already. He was actually pretty honest about what he was really worried about: cash money. They don’t know what the cost will be yet, but Dong-jin said, “I can’t comment on exactly how much the cost will be, but it pains my heart that it will be such a big number.”

It pains my heart knowing that people actually want Samsung phones when they know how annoying it is for everyone else with real phones (iPhones) to be in a group message with them and look at their green messages.

It’s a bigger problem for Samsung than just a recall. The whole point for the company was to release their new device this week before Apple’s release of its new iPhone later in the month. So that’s a problem for the business. But on a consumer level, the batteries are exploding because they are made of lithium-ion batteries. These are the same lithium-ion batteries that have been exploding in Tesla cars, airplanes, and even e-cigarettes and vaporizers. So the next time you buy something with a lithium-ion battery in it, it might be worth thinking about keeping it away from your face.