This How-To Guide For Men Trying To Talk To Women Wearing Headphones Is Creepy As Fuck

Someone on the internet wrote a disturbing article about women? Must be a day ending in Y. This time it’s a super creepy piece on how to talk to women wearing headphones. Now if a woman, or even a man with good sense, had written this article, it would be really short. Step 1: Don’t even try it. The end. However, the actual article, written by Dan Bacon and published on TheModernMan.com, is basically a guide to overriding women’s consent.

This How-To Guide For Men Trying To Talk To Women Wearing Headphones Is Creepy As Fuck Tips from “How To Talk To A Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones” include “wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can’t ignore it” and “smile and point to her headphones and tell her, ‘Take off your headphones for a minute.'” The article also claims that when women ignore men, it’s not a sign of disinterest, but is instead a “test” of men’s confidence, because we women aren’t smart enough to know what we really want. And what we really want, obvs, is to bone down with some pushy, entitled misogynist.

But wait — it gets worse. Bacon warns men against making “common mistakes” such as “allowing her to ignore him” and “allowing her to take control of the interaction.” For some reason, “trying to force a woman to interact with you when she clearly does not want to” isn’t in there.

Once you’ve ensured that this poor woman can’t ignore you, you should “demonstrate you understand that approaching a woman in this way isn’t the most common of experiences for either party.” Highlighting the awkwardness of it all “helps put her at ease and know that you are a cool guy,” because no one is cooler than a sexist turd who invades women’s spaces and demands they pay attention to him. Am I right, ladies?

Bacon helpfully provided a mock conversation to illustrate how this will play out, featuring a woman who is clearly not from this planet:

Thankfully, the article has attracted its share of critics. Some pointed out that the only time it’s actually OK to start a conversation with a woman wearing headphones is to alert her to an emergency, along the lines of “imminent danger” or “rare Pokemon.” Others suggested alternate courses of action for men who wish to follow the article’s advice, such as “punch[ing] yourself repeatedly in the face.”

Still others highlighted Bacon’s pattern of writing articles that undermine women’s agency; winning titles include “How To Make My Ex Feel Guilty For Leaving Me” and “How To Make A Woman Change Her Mind About Breaking Up.” This guy’s clearly a gem. “Make,” “allow,” “control” — these are the terms of rape culture, which is built upon the belief that men are automatically entitled to women’s bodies, emotions, and time, and can have destructive and even fatal consequences.

If you really want to talk to a woman with headphones in, go home and reflect on all your life choices. No one wants to be interrupted mid-song or mid-podcast to talk to some disgusting man. Just treat women like human beings — human beings that don’t want to talk to you. Ever.