Ryan Lochte’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’ Competition Will Include An Ex-Presidential Candidate
When it comes to reality television, there is no such thing as shame. But ABC has really outdone itself with this season of Dancing With The Stars, casting Ryan Lochte and Rick Perry, among others. Yes, you read that correctly. I mean, Lochte is an Olympic swimmer, so he might have some moves, but he’s also sort of a disgrace for allegedly exaggerating a robbery story while at the Rio Olympics this summer. And the hair; don’t forget about his hair. Let’s just hope he can comport himself like a normal human being while dancing with Cheryl Burke for the duration of the show.
Former presidential candidate and Texas Governor Rick Perry starring in the reality competition just says everything about America these days. Sure, we have a clown like Donald Trump running for president, so Perry on Dancing With The Stars is just icing on the cake. Everything is a joke once a contender for president starts waltzing on television. I feel like I ate too many weed brownies.
Perry swears that it’s all about supporting the troops, because that the excuse all politicians use when they do something silly and want to make it look legit. “I’m dedicated to helping #veterans however possible, and I’m going to use @dancingabc as a stage to do that,” Perry tweeted Tuesday.
The other cast members are just as ridiculous. Well, everyone except U.S. women’s gymnastics team member Laurie Hernandez, who will be partnered with Valentin Chmerkovskiy. I mean, she’s obviously going to win. Dancing with the other Chmerkovskiy brother, Maksim, is Amber Rose. I see you, Rose, doing your thing.
It gets better. Vanilla Ice is also joining the cast, along with Babyface. Vanilla Ice was already using the hashtag #WOW to describe his female dance partner Tuesday, so that’s already off to a creepy start.
Little Women: LA star Terra Jole, One Tree Hill actress Jana Kramer, and former football player Calvin Johnson will also be on the show, which premieres Sept. 12 on ABC. As much as I make fun of Dancing With The Stars, I am a little bit excited to see Perry engage with the likes of certified bros Lochte and Vanilla Ice. What’s worse: not knowing what the Environmental Protection Agency is or making up a lie about Brazilians violently attacking you while a guest in their country? It’s a toss up.
Since it’s sort of a given that Hernandez will be the champion, I might even put some money down on Perry. Why the hell not?