Jenelle Evans From ‘Teen Mom 2′ Is Pregnant With Her 3rd Baby, Continues Making Excellent Life Choices

Hold onto your pearls, guys: Jenelle Evans from Teen Mom 2 is pregnant again. Evans, known good decision maker, has become sperminated by her boyfriend David Eason. The MTV star and perennial parenting role model confirmed the news on her Instagram. So far, no comment from her mother, the blindingly elegant Barbara.

Although the couple isn’t expected to welcome their new little reality star until January, they’ve already given up the kid’s sex and name, because clearly they don’t know how to conduct a proper media rollout of a new baby. I mean, it’s not even halfway through her pregnancy. If Jenelle knew what she was doing, she’d still be in the “why was she carrying her bag in front of her belly while leaving the gym? / turning down peanut paste” stage of speculation; we shouldn’t know this kid’s name until, like, March of next year. Kris Jenner, please help this piss-poor excuse for a media whore. (“I don’t really…do the Carolinas.” – Kris Jenner, probably.)

Evans has an 18-month-old son, Kaiser (I know, just don’t, he’s a baby, let it go), with her Axe body spray-scented muscle of an ex-boyfriend, Nathan Griffith. Jenelle’s mom Barbara still retains custody of her 6-year-old son, Jace. Evans is currently ass-deep in hella contested custody battles with both parties over both kids, which yes, as we’re all thinking, does make this an incredibly good time to throw another baby-log on the raging dumpster fire that is Evans’ interpersonal relationships.

Anyway, here’s Jenelle and her dude standing in some water even though there’s a perfectly fucking good boat right next to them. Also she’s wearing a flower crown. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Of course they’re naming that poor baby “Ensley.” Fucking of course they are.