Team USA Basketball Players Were Offered A Weekend At A Brothel If They Stay Away From Them In Rio

In what seems like an excuse a teenage son would yell at his forlorn parents from the top of a staircase, some of the Team USA basketball boys went to a brothel in Rio de Janeiro, later claiming they thought it was a spa. The crew of teammates headed out Wednesday night for some bonding time when they decided to duck into the high-end brothel Terra Monte Carlo, at which point, according their accounts, they quickly realized it was a brothel and left.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, the brothel is presented to the public as a spa (as most locations of sex work are) and it’s true purpose is only revealed when customers find out it’s a male-only venue that includes a full bar. The players caught in the act were Deandre Jordan, Demar Derozen, and Demarcus “Boogie” Cousins, all of whom stuck to their claims of innocent intentions.

Whether or not grown men choose to solicit sex workers isn’t really the public’s business, but the hyper-public setting of the Olympics and tourist status of the players makes the scenario more susceptible to public whispers and speculation. After all, the Olympics are not only an event of incredible feats of athleticism, but also a peek into the emotional coping mechanisms of the world’s best athletes.

In a savvy and somewhat hilarious move, the porn site xHamster compromised with the men of Team USA Basketball. The site offered the men a raincheck on their brothel experience, given they spend the rest of the Olympics focusing on their sport. XHamster spokesman Alex Hawkins said in a statement sent to The Frisky:

“We appreciate the fact that Team USA Basketball is looking to have some fun while in Rio. However, we feel that they should be focusing on basketball and not brothels. If they bring home the gold medal we are willing to send the whole team for a weekend at the Bunny Ranch to celebrate.”

Well, that’s a pretty decent motivational incentive for the team (in the strange event that winning Olympic gold medals isn’t enough motivation for the team to focus on the task at hand). I mean, the men could undoubtedly afford to pay for their own weekend at Bunny Ranch (a Nevada brothel), but really, what’s the point of ascending to Olympian levels of success if you don’t get the added perks? Go get the gold, Team USA, and the rest will follow.