Lindsay Lohan Says She’s Pregnant After Fight With Fiancé Egor Tarabasov, Needs To Tweet Through It

Just when you thought that hanging out with Oprah for a little bit and a trans-Atlantic move can change your life, think again. This weekend, Linsdsay Lohan says that she’s pregnant after ripping her man-baby fiancé Egor Tarabasov a new one on social media for not coming home on time. It’s quite possibly most epically jealous, batshit crazy rant I’ve ever seen Lohan go on.

Let’s back up: The now 30-year-old Lohan has been living in London with her boyfriend, 23-year-old Tarabasov, a Russian business mogul. Recently, Lohan hinted on Snapchat that she and her man were engaged and she told media that she was so much happier and more chill now that she was away from the whole Hollywood celeb scene. But people don’t really change, it seems: Lohan lost her shit, yet again, this weekend. Apparently, Tarabasov was hanging out with a mutual friend of the couple, Dasha Pashevkina, who is referred to, in Lohan’s social posts, as a “hooker.” Way to be extra on social media and shame-y to sex workers! Cool job, Blohan. Anyway, most of the Instagram posts have been deleted, but Lohan’s rage lives on forever on Twitter.

The first one says,”I guess I was the same at 23… Shitty time- it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming tonight. Fame changes people.”

Then she gets angrier. “Wow thanks #fiance with Russian hooker @pa5hlondon,” she wrote. Another video post, according to People, was captioned, “Home?” and accused him of cheating. Then posted an image of them together with his face all swirled out, with the caption “He wore black and I wore white…. I guess art is whatever you make of it.”

He wore black and I wore white…. 🙉🙈🙊⚓️ I guess #art is whatever you make of it.

A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on

Why some of the posts were deleted but the crazy voodoo picture of her and Tarabasov was not is beyond me. But we cannot claim to know the inner workings of Lindsey Lohan’s mind. But it didn’t stop there. After unleashing her fury about whatever her alleged fiancé was up to with his friends, Lohan cryptically tweeted a link to her old movie Labor Pains, where she pretends to be pregnant, and wrote, “I’m pregnant.”

Now, this is where I get a little Oprah, too. Because, yes, Lohan is obviously still a hot fucking mess, which is fine because who among us, ya know? You can feel free to make fun of me, but I will always feel for this hot mess. I mean, if this is what she’s posting for the public to see, imagine what her text messages look like. Probably a long, long iMessage-blue text box that scrolls for days.  I’ll be honest — never quite to this professional, highly skilled level, of course — and say that I have fought with a partner and left a nice, hefty trail of blue text boxes in my wake, usually fueled by mediocre scotch. So, I get it. Sort of.

But Lohan appears to be still on the hunt for that grip she’s never quite been able to find. Claiming a pregnancy and acting like a jealous lunatic… I’ve really kinda missed all this Classic Lohan™. Also, she was pretty nasty about it, too. Faking a pregnancy is a little out of control, but hey, this is social media where nothing is real so whatever, do you. (Unless it’s real! And in that case congratulations and I’m the asshole!)

That said, at this point, it’s hard to go “LOL look how crazy Lindsay Lohan is,” because it’s actually just pretty sad and clearly speaks to the fact that this person is still not super happy, or at least doesn’t know how to prevent her feels from spilling out on her social media, which we all know is the main battle we’re fight at all times. Unless this is some avant-garde theater piece she’s working on about fame and love… but I doubt it. Lindsay, please learn how to tweet through it better than this.