Amy Schumer Says Her First Sexual Experience Was Not Consensual

During the process of mining old journals for material for her upcoming memoir, it became clear to comedian Amy Schumer that her first sexual experience was nonconsensual. It would be a huge understatement to merely say it’s a heavy scene for Schumer to revisit while being scrutinized by the public eye. Needless to say, she’s chosen to be forthcoming about her traumatic first time in the hope of further opening up the public conversation on consent.

In an interview with Marie Claire, Schumer expressed the cognitive dissonance experienced both during the act, and while revisiting those journal entries. “When it happened, I wrote about it almost like a throwaway,” she said. “It was like, ‘And then I looked down and realized he was inside me.’ He was saying, ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I can’t believe I did this.'”

She’s left the perpetrator unnamed and made it clear she doesn’t intend to seek punishment for him, but still thinks it’s important to bring these issues to light given how sadly common they are. “This was 17 years ago. There are just so many factors,” she told Marie Claire before sharing that this wasn’t the only time she was penetrated without consent. “I had another time with a boyfriend where I was saying, ‘No, stop,’ and it was just completely ignored.”

The 35-year-old comedian was also sure to make it clear she doesn’t want to identify as a victim, which seems a bit confusing, but totally valid given the horrible way sexual abuse victims are often treated. It’s crucial to respect her autonomy and account of her own experience, because it is her experience.

While there are sadly a slew of highly common possible reasons why Schumer would immediately deflect the severity of her sexual trauma, she addressed the immense backlash survivors face when their experiences either aren’t perceived as traumatic enough or they themselves aren’t regarded as a likable enough victim.

“You know, with the rape survivor, it’s not just shaming, it’s fury,” Schumer said in her Marie Claire interview. “It makes people so mad if you’re not a perfect victim.”

The depressingly pervasive attitude of victim-blaming and not believing women might have been part of what caused Schumer to immediately deflect “victim status” after sharing her experiences. Given the fact that she’s already been publicly scrutinized for everything from appearing on a plus-sized issue of Glamour magazine, to accusations of joke theft, to more serious claims of racism, it makes sense that she wants to maintain space between her identity and her sexual trauma.

The unavoidable trolling she’d experience if she were to blatantly say she is angry and was wronged might not be something she is ready to emotionally handle right now. That is completely understandable, either way. I hope her story encourages other men and women to grapple with their nonconsensual experiences in the bedroom.