Tituss Burgess Eviscerated A Moving Company That “Messed With The Wrong Queen”

As proof that life imitates art sometimes, Tituss Burgess’ bad Yelp review for a moving company has gone viral, making him a true hero for anyone who’s ever used a moving company. The only thing keeping this from being a plot line on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is that his bad review and social media posts attacking Frank’s Express Moving Company in Brooklyn, New York actually worked. The other Tituss might have had a harder time getting anyone to pay attention, even though what the moving company did was pretty fucking terrible.

First, they took too long to show up to move a couch that Burgess was getting reupholstered (celebrity life, so exciting, right?). Then, they demanded a positive Yelp review before even showing up. Burgess claimed they went back and forth via text for almost an hour before, according to screenshots he shared, the movers called him “a fucking faggot.” That’s not a joke — that’s just fucking awful. He closed his Yelp review with, “You messed with the wrong Queen. #franksexpress #Igotcha #lizaminelli #Iamgonnamakeavideoaboutyoubecauseofthedeepangerif­eel #DONOTTHREATENMEIWILLWIN.” Only a superstar could use hashtags like this.

After the scathing Yelp review, he also posted an image of the text exchange to Twitter and made an Instagram video, retelling the same story.

Since he posted the review, many fans have taken to the company’s Yelp page to leave “reviews” based on his. Currently, it’s hard to find an actual review for the place besides Burgess’, and Yelp has a little overlay warning that they’re monitoring the page due to traffic. The moving company responded to Burgess on Yelp, basically calling him a liar, liar pants on fire, writing:

Dear Tituss! We are very sorry for fatal misunderstanding! But we have never spoken with you by phone. We never book our truck and crew via phone. It is rule! Our process is next: a customer send us request via website or email after that a customer must confirm a move plan via email. No text messages,  no confirmation via phone. If you have phone number, saved chat and messages please provide us. We never ask our customer about good reviews before a move. And of course our dispatchers never threaten to our customers. Please contact us for discussion. Thank you. Our best.

According to Frank’s Express, someone randomly called Burgess pretending to be an employee, also texting the bigoted remarks, which sounds pretty impossible. If a moving company doesn’t show the morning they’re supposed to, that still makes them shitty in my book. Communication is key when it comes to large trucks and furniture.

It sounds like Frank’s Express is trying to claim ignorance because they pissed off a beloved star, and now everyone in Brooklyn knows. Because who makes that shit up? Not even Titus Andromedon would do something silly like that.