Nintendo Is Releasing A Mini Version Of Its Classic Console For Nostalgic Gamers

I have been bashing Pokémon Go all week because it strikes me as the silliest waste of time ever, but when I read that Nintendo is re-releasing the classic Nintendo console this morning, my heart leapt with joy — just like little Mario hopping from sewer pipe to sewer pipe, collecting all the floating coins along the way. It’s not going to be exactly the way it used to be, which is a good thing, because my old Nintendo console hasn’t worked in years, no matter how hard I’ve tried to resuscitate the fucker (you can blow all you want into the games these days, but if they play, you must have magical skills).

The new console isn’t just the classic version — it’s a mini version. It’s the cutest thing ever. It’s a replica of the OG but this one plugs into your high-definition TV. Even better, they aren’t going to screw you over when it comes to cables and shit. The whole package, which is going to retail for just $60, comes with an HDMI cable and one controller (you can buy an extra controller for two-player games for $10, which is pretty much nothing.) The console comes pre-loaded with 30 games. If you have a favorite Nintendo game, it’s probably on there, like the Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Donkey Kong, PAC-MAN, and Kirby’s Adventure, among others.

Please feel free to openly mock me for being a little giddy about this. I haven’t loved playing video games since I kicked my brother’s ass every day in Super Mario 3, and to be able to hole up this winter and relive that glory? Who the fuck needs Pokémon in abandoned parking lots when you can bounce around to those glorious Super Mario tunes? I seriously am not sure I even need the Zelda games or Galaga — no, no, you need Galaga.

I really want this, and I know that’s exactly what Nintendo wants me to feel so I’ll shell out $60 for a memory of my childhood, and I am totally fucking falling for it.

Nintendo of America President and COO Reggie Fils-Aime said in an official statement that it’s all about nostalgia. “We wanted to give fans of all ages the opportunity to revisit Nintendo’s original system and rediscover why they fell in love with Nintendo in the first place,” he said. “NES Classic Edition is ideal for anyone who remembers playing the NES, or who wants to pass on those nostalgic memories to the next generation of gamers.”

Or 32-year-old women who only know how to play Zelda and Mario Bros. Don’t judge me — while the rest of your are out chasing Pokémon, I’ll be trying to see if the Konami and new lives codes work on this little mini slice of heaven.