People Are Playing Pokémon Go In The Absolute Worst Places
Let this be a public service announcement. Do you have friends who are playing Pokémon Go? Are your social media feeds full of jokes and memes about the game? If so, I feel your fucking pain. The obsession with the game is getting very out of control, and people are playing Pokémon Go in the worst places. There have already been reports of teenagers using the app to commit armed robbery in parking lots in the middle of nowhere, and someone even found a dead body in a river while playing. It sounds like playing this game is a Law & Order cold open waiting to happen all the time. I’m still holding out on downloading, and these facts are not making me want to join the craze.
Some people are using the game to hook up, which is a little weird, but nothing can really be weirder than Tinder. Some gamers are allegedly meeting their soulmates chasing Pokémon around town. A woman told GQ that some guy she was talking to used it as a pick up line. “This cute guy just started talking to us. He said he’d just downloaded Pokémon Go so he only had two. He asked me how many I had, and was really impressed,” she said. She had 86. I don’t know what that means, but I’m assuming it’s akin to great eye makeup and a short dress or something.
So, fine, a bar isn’t the worst place to play the game, I guess. But there are lots of inappropriate places people are collecting Pikachus (if that’s even what they’re called). Here are just a few:
Pawel Sawicki, a spokesman for the Auschwitz Memorial told The New York Times, “Allowing such games to be active on the site of Auschwitz Memorial is disrespectful to the memory of the victims of the German Nazi concentration and extermination camp on many levels.” Because, duh.
The Holocaust Memorial
A spokesperson said the game isn’t in line with their “mission.” Again, grow the fuck up.
The 9/11 Memorial
Samuel L. Jackson always says it best.
The Arlington Cemetery
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Seriously, all the love for law enforcement, but if you walk into a police station right now looking for Pokémon, you should probably check yourself.
Like, A Lot Of Police Stations
Donald Trump Rallies
Don’t do this to yourself.
Maybe if people are making friends with their local cops and amusing themselves in hospital beds, Pokémon Go isn’t that bad. But to walk around cemeteries and places like the Holocaust Museum collecting digital things just seems totally fucking out of line. Go play Pokémon outside and meet someone to have weird, Nintendo-loving sex with later, I guess, but have a little respect — for the dead and for yourself.