A Chipotle Executive In Charge Of Rebranding Is Arrested On Cocaine Charges

Following E. coli outbreaks earlier in the year, Chipotle has had a difficult time reeling customers back into their fold of mild salsa and overpriced guacamole. To make matters worse (or better depending on your perspective), a Chipotle executive was arrested on charges of cocaine possession, presumably because he was trying to hype himself up for Chipotle’s big revival. Ironically, the 53-year-old executive, Mark Crumpacker, was in charge of rebranding Chipotle after the company’s declining sales.

Making as much as $4 million dollars a year, the Chipotle creative development executive was caught allegedly soliciting a high-end cocaine delivery service via wiretapping as many as 13 times during an investigation into accused drug kingpin Kenny Hernandez. The allegations came to light last week when Crumpacker and a handful of equally bougie Manhattan-dwellers were busted for allegedly buying cocaine from the delivery service run by Hernandez, who is accused of selling more than $75,000 of cocaine over the course of the past year. Crumpacker turned himself in Tuesday and was charged with seven counts of possession of a controlled substance. He has already been released on a $4,500 bond because cash rules everything around us, but he is due back in court Sept. 8.

Chipotle placed Crumpacker on administrative leave for the time being. “We made this decision in order to remain focused on the operation of our business, and to allow Mark to focus on these personal matters,” Chipotle said in its statement.

Given the fact that Chipotle made the news earlier in the year both for E. coli and gender discrimination, this new cocaine-fueled news splash will likely only compound their declining reputation.

Who knows though. Now that Crumpacker has made the news, visions of Chipotle might be haunting the hungry brains of people who haven’t envisioned their dog-sized burritos in awhile. Also, all the trendy cocaine users might feel akin to Crumpacker and buy tacos out of solidarity — maybe this was his rebranding plan all along?!

Before getting caught as an alleged customer of the “high-end” cocaine delivery ring, Crumpacker was apparently studying 60 pages of marketing research as part of his job to lure the public back into consuming the Mexican food corporate beauty that is Chipotle. It’s pretty ironic, though it’s likely the stressful task of rebranding Chipotle is what drove him to purchasing so much cocaine. He might have needed the means of cocaine for the end of rebranding, but now the means have become the end.