You Can Buy “Breakup Insurance” For Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’s Relationship

Still crushed that Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift are dating? Now there’s a way to turn that grief into sweet cash money. Chinese online retailer Taobao is selling Hiddleswift “breakup insurance” to concerned fans and embittered haters like me. Basically, you pay whatever you want, and if they break up, you get double your money back.

Payments start at 1 yuan, which is equal to about 15 cents U.S. money. You can buy as much “insurance” as you want, and some buyers have run with it, spending as much as 400 yuan. One Taobao buyer was even advised on a limit by a seller, because I guess they just got too excited at the prospect of Hiddleston and Swift splitting up. The specific terms of the breakup aren’t clear; for instance, if Swift and Hiddleston get married and then divorced, does that count? Or does it count if Hiddleston decides to go non-exclusive and pursue an open relationship with, say, a writer for an entertainment and news website? The public has a right to know.

Although speculation is rife regarding Swift and Hiddleston’s relationship, apparently she’s met his mother, so it might be serious. (That sound you hear? It’s my Hiddleston-less heart shattering into a million tiny pieces.) Whether this affects buyers’ chances of making some money on a breakup remains to be seen.

This isn’t the first unconventional insurance payment to come out of China. During the 2014 World Cup, insurer Zhong An offered “drunk” and “soccer hooligan” insurance policies for Chinese fans who sustained inebriation-related injuries or were attacked by hostile fans of other teams. Strange insurance payments aren’t confined to China, though. In America, you can officially insure yourself against alien abduction, while across the Atlantic, someone in Britain has insured a cock ring for more than $5,300.

Is the Hiddleston/Swift breakup payout a matter of profiting from someone else’s misery? It’s kind of hard to claim that it isn’t. On the other hand, how much profit can anyone make off 15 cents if you only get double your money back? And if they don’t break up, then they get to live their lives, and we mortals will react as we would if money weren’t involved.

As a buyer told China’s state news agency Xinhua, “These stars break up all the time, which gives us the opportunity to earn a lot of money.” Can’t argue with that.