This Russian Guy Is Suing His Ex For Money Spent During Their Relationship. Uh, Sorry Bro, That’s Not How This Works.

The worst part about getting dumped is realizing how much cash you’ve wasted on a person. Sure, the intimacy, the (hopefully) good, regular booty, and the sweet nothings you texted back and forth are sad to lose. But shit — dating is expensive. When someone turns out to be an asshole, all those dinners, little gifts, and commuting costs are hard not to want to recoup. That’s exactly why a Russian guy tried suing his ex for all the money he wasted on her, and luckily for some, there is now a precedent that basically says you can’t get that shit back, bro (at least in Russia). Nikolai Zyablikov took his former lady, Nina Zgurskaya, to court in Krasnoyarsk for a mere $600 he dropped on a shared vacation.

There was a little back and forth about whether they were “just friends” or not, but his former girlfriend put those rumors to bed by saying that even though she had been expecting a marriage proposal after the romantic getaway, she was under the impression that that trip was free. In court, Zyablikov produced receipts for the big travel expenses and even pretty small things, like the espresso they had in the morning. That’s cold.

The judge eventually decided, after hearing testimony from friends and tour operators, that they were totes a couple on the trip, and therefore, Zgurskaya didn’t owe Zyablikov anything.

Damn straight she didn’t. She wanted a ring and then they decided to break up after the vacation. You don’t get your $600 back after a crappy vacation like that. Them’s the breaks. There are a few things to consider about Zgurskaya’s plight, though. The first is that he reportedly told a local Russian paper he didn’t really want the money — it was more about winning a “moral victory” over his ex-girlfriend. So righteous.

There’s another little thing about this, too: the sorry sum of money he wanted returned to him. I mean, $600? I’ve spent more than that on Uber rides after one night stands, and don’t think I haven’t wished to the dating gods that I could stick the dude with the fare (New York City inter-borough travel is not cheap). If we’re going to start asking for refunds, each partner should get to tally up what they “spent” on the other.

We should be able to get all “billable hours” about it, too. Like, the time I spend getting my hoo-ha waxed plus tips, or the minutes I put up with watching movies I would never watch in the name of getting busy afterwards. We all make sacrifices for love, and Star Wars is sometimes one of them.

He might have had better luck had he really tallied everything he spent on his girl from the first date on, cell phone bills included, because you know how messy breakups can get. That’s a lot of data usage. But it’s not just dudes that throw down when it comes to relationships (unless you are lucky enough to not give a fuck and make them pay). I feel for Zyablikov, but love lost is often money lost, too. That’s just the way it goes.