Outback Steakhouse Introduces The Loaded Bloomin’ Onion And 5 Other Over-The-Top Appetizers You Need To Try

Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion is a staple appetizer menu option, but they’ve recently gone and one-upped themselves. For a limited time, you can order your Bloomin’ Onion “loaded,” as in stuffed with cheese fries, bacon, sour cream, and possibly regret. This is excellent news for anyone who thoroughly enjoys stuffing their face with an assortment of artery-clogging fried foods after a long day at work, because sometimes you just need to drown your stress with as much food as you can fit down your throat.

This glorious Loaded Onion ranks in at a whopping 2,360 calories, so prepare accordingly (I recommend wearing stretchy pants). It’s meant to be shared, but I’m viewing it more as a personal challenge — yes, I bet I can eat this entire glob of fried food in one sitting. The new appetizer hits restaurants June 21, and though it isn’t exactly the best summer food, it will definitely hit the spot.

Here’s a picture of the beautiful creature known as the Bloomin’ Onion and a list of other outrageous, yet delicious appetizers to indulge in when you are feeling all the feels. Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the “nutritional” facts (no one needs to know the real damage they’re doing while stuffing their face).

Loaded Bloomin’ Onion At Outback Steakhouse 

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CREDIT: Outback Steakhouse

Outback Steakhouse’s limited-time upgrade will become available just in time for you to not give a fuck about having a “beach ready” body (because that’s not a thing anyway).

Hot Dog Pizza At Pizza Hut 

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CREDIT: Pizza Hut

When you order this option they ask you what size you would like, and then ask, “What happened in your life that led you here?” OK, they don’t really, but they should. This appetizer debuted last summer, and although I didn’t see it listed on the website today, here we have the next best thing for only $12.99.

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CREDIT: Pizza Hut

Thank goodness. Sometimes you just need your crust stuffed with meat, ya know?

Pizza Skins At Uno Pizzeria

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CREDIT: Uno

Calling this “pizza” in any way is a stretch. What makes it a pizza — the crust? Pies have crust too! If anything, this is a loaded mashed potato pie. Whether this meal identifies as a pizza or a pie, I can confirm from many personal accounts, that it’s delicious.

Lasagna Frittas At Olive Garden 

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I mean, these look perfect. They are “fried parmesan-breaded lasagna, topped with parmesan cheese and marinara sauce, with creamy alfredo.” The hardest decision to make at Olive Garden is between red or white sauce, and here you don’t have to choose! What a life.

Buffalo Blasts At Cheesecake Factory

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CREDIT: Cheesecake Factory

This might just be where I draw the line. On the website, the description is “chicken, cheese and our spicy buffalo sauce all stuffed in a spiced wrapper and fried until crisp. Served with celery sticks and blue cheese dressing.” C’mon, let’s be real — nobody’s eating those celery sticks after this.

Pancake Puppies At Denny’s 

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CREDIT: Denny's

“Delicious bite-sized round pancakes rolled in cinnamon sugar and served with warm syrup,” Denny’s website says. Great for groups, or for just you when he/she isn’t texting you back after you thought you two had something special!

Go forth my friends. Eat your heart out.