How To Comfort The Bernie Bros In Your Life Now That Sanders’ Campaign Is Basically Over
Now that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has claimed the title of presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has a lot of thinking to do. And if he drops out, how will you comfort your Bernie Bro friends? Or yourself if you’re a Bernie Bro. OK, it’s not that Sanders has to drop out. He can (and says he will) stick it out until the July convention in Philadelphia and hope to sway superdelegates to his side, but July 25 is a long ways away. Every day that Sanders and supporters continue to campaign for him and bash Clinton, Donald Trump grows another nose hair.
I do understand the dilemma: Sanders campaigned against Clinton hard and his supporters do not like her. To them (and well, to a lot of people), Clinton is corrupt, takes money from Wall Street, and is too “establishment” — pretty much everything Trump says about her. Fair! Also, Sanders promised everyone feeling the Bern that he would fight until he won the nomination in Philadelphia his summer, but maybe the new rule is: don’t end a primary until every state votes and don’t threaten messy, contested conventions. It could be argued that by not shifting focus to help unify voters behind the candidate who is going to be head-to-head with Trump in the general election, Sanders is doing more harm than good at this point.
More than just defeating Trump, Sanders has to show Bernie Bros that the world will go on without his candidacy for president. There was a lot of good that happened here, so Bernie supporters should just call it a wash and get behind Clinton already. Whether you like the choices or not, America is picking a president in November, and if it’s not Clinton, it will be Trump. What are we going to do then?
So yeah, everyone needs to get in formation. We get it. But that doesn’t mean the mourning process isn’t very real and very valid for Sanders supporters. And if you have beloved Bernie Bros in your life, the kind thing to do is be compassionate as they navigate this emotional moment.
So, here’s exactly what you can tell the Bernie Bros in your life to cheer them up.
At Least You Pushed Her To The Left
Bernie Bro, don’t be sad. Sure, you’re not a fan of hers, but the frenzy of support for Sanders seemed to force Clinton to take a good hard look at her policies and make them just a little more palatable. And to make sure you vote in the fall, she’s going to have to stay there. That’s good.
She Has Ironic Hipster Gear, Too
OK, Bernie had better swag.
Obama Thanks You
On Thursday, President Obama is meeting with Sanders to “thank him” for energizing “millions of Americans.” That’s you, dude! You’re one in a million. God knows if there’s anything a Millennial male loves more than Bernie Sanders, it’s
abusing women online being special.
You Got Larry David Sketches For Days
Really, though, you guys made Saturday Night Live funny again. That’s a bigger deal than universal higher education.
We’re All Going To Get To Watch Trump Lose His Shit
Trump is not good when he is losing. You might not like Clinton, but I feel like after all of these years of bad campaigning, she might have this. Trump is going to simply implode.
Endings are always hard, but if Sanders ends up dropping out before the convention, just remember the good times.