6 Reasons 26 Is A Perfectly Fine And Normal Age To Be Single For A While
Have you heard the news? Have you read the papers? Did you watch Entertainment Tonight with your grandma? Then surely you’ve seen the news that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris broke up after fifteen months of dating, which for a celebrity couple is the equivalent of dying old and happy in each other’s arms, like the old couple in The Notebook. Even though the couple was spotted just a few weeks ago looking happy as clams, all good things must come to an end. The reasons for their breakup is unclear but sources close to the situation report that “It seemed like they were more friends than lovers.”
While I suppose this is a reasonable reason to break up with anyone, I’d argue that after fifteen months, the hot and fiery flames of lust/infatuation/desire to mash your crotch into another person’s crotch start to fade a little bit, but this is a lesson learned by the old, dusty and bitter. Taylor Swift may act and kind of look like a 38 year old Primate of Park Avenue, but she’s actually just 26 years old. She’s a baby! She’s a tiny little thing. Let me be clear: Every age is a great age to be single because being in a relationship is not a requirement, it’s a choice. And while everything is different for everyone all the time and always, it still might be prudent for Taylor Swift, 26 year old famous person and known serial dater, to stay single for a while. Here’s why.
Learning to be alone when you’re young will help you not be a crazy person when you’re old.
Everyone wants to be in a relationship because the TV and the movies and your mom yearning for a grandchild plant the seeds deep in your brain when you’re young. Then, they sit back, content to watch as you flop through life from relationship to relationship, like Goldilocks but with shitty Tinder bros. Companionship is valuable because relationships offer lots of things that regular friendships don’t offer, but being single and alone and figuring out how to survive like a regular person without someone else to help you when you’re young will make it so that you’re a better human being more ready and willing to accept L-O-V-E when you’re old. It’s fine to try on as many different kinds of relationships as you see fit, but think about like, I don’t know, learning how to do a bunch of stuff that makes you an awesome person when you’re fresh-faced and spry and then presenting that version of yourself to the hordes of waiting people eager to get down with someone who is as close to self-actualized as possible?
The recovery time for the embarrassment of being dumped by a DJ is longer than you might think.
DJs are bad. DJs that pick their DJ names because it sounded “more racially ambiguous” are also pretty bad! I’m sure Adam “Calvin Harris Kinda Sounds Like A Black Dude” Wiles understands this somewhere deep in his heart of hearts.
Taking time to figure out what you want is generally a good look for success in love.
No one — literally, no one at all — knows what they want. What we “want” as human beings and their desires change by the minute. Right now, I could use a seltzer but in a few minutes I will probably want an iced tea. Twenty minutes after that, I’ll want a cookie but will eat some carrots instead. These impulses are fine when it comes to afternoon snacks but I don’t really want to do this when it comes to my love life. Again, everyone is different and if you’re the kind of person who realizes what they want at whatever age they want it, then please, go for it But! Taylor Swift, famous person, could take some time off to figure out what she actually wants in a relationship by SPENDING SOME TIME ALONE.
If you love your squad so goddamn much, spend some fucking time with them.
When I was 26, most of my friends were single and freewheeling. I was trapped in the dregs of a relationship that ended poorly, therefore spending most of my precious and young years crying in a sloppy t-shirt and no bra over some dude who most likely wasn’t worth it. There is no hard and fast rule that says most of your friends will be booed up by the time you hit 30, but as a grizzled elder staring into the middle distance at 33, all of my friends are in relationships now and we don’t go out that much because hangovers after 28 turn into all day affairs. Spend time with your friends! Love your friends. Enjoy your friends. They are there and will be there for you regardless, but use this time to pour up the margs, throw on your “I Ain’t Sorry” hat and dance on a tabletop. Cabo 2017, bitches!!!!!!
Get your job and your career in order now before you realize that the ship has sailed.
Developing any sort of career is a constant journey, so I’m not saying that everyone reaches job zen at a certain age and that’s the end of that. But, a cool and cute secret that no one tells you is that in order to enjoy any sort of success, however you define it, is that you have to stay low and build. Stay low, keep your head down and build. Grind. Hustle. Insert whatever cheesy shit your SoulCycle instructor yells at you during the tap back sequence here. There are so many things that make a life full and vibrant and fun, but sitting your ass down and setting the groundwork for kind of career you want and where you want to be when you’re older is precisely what you should be spending your 20s doing.
Pick a hobby, any hobby. Learn that hobby. Live that hobby. Enrich your life!!
Mmm, you know what’s fun? Knitting ten million scarves for friends who will eventually say, “Hey, I’m good on the knitted accessories, thanks!” Those scarves are even more fun when you teach yourself how to knit as a way of channeling your frustrations about yet another failed relationship, because nothing makes for better art than the distinct roil of emotions produced after a breakup. Instead of throwing yourself into the tiresome emotional labor of another relationship right after the relationship itself has ended, maybe use the valuable time you have as a fresh-faced 26 year old to teach yourself Chinese or learn how to weave or something. Enrich your life! Learn more about you! Prepare yourself thusly so you can present a fully-realized and together human being to the person you decide is worthy of your love (or not).