Donald Trump Says There’s No Drought In California & He’s “All For” Environmentalism

BREAKING: Donald Trump says a lot of stupid shit. But the fact that Donald Trump told California that there’s no drought is one of the most ridiculous things to come out of his ridiculous mouth this primary season. OK — his stance on Muslim and Mexican immigrants is definitely the worst (and let’s not even talk about how he views women… OK, it’s all actually really batshit), but his supporters let this guy get away with pretty much anything. Although the drought this year in California hasn’t been as bad as in past years, it’s, like, inarguably very real. But as with most things, Trump was able to get right to the point. He said at a rally in Fresno on Saturday, “We’re going to solve your water problem. You have a water problem that is so insane.”

That sounds like a drunk New Yorker who skims the Internet every day trying to solve the problem (which could very well be exactly what Trump actually is). Because although the drought is one of California’s biggest worries, it’s not something everyday Americans can really understand. “Your water problem is so insane,” the “Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party” says. Wow, thanks for the astute observation! That’s not exactly presidential material.

Trump’s point, lest we take him out of context, was that a recent executive order made by Gov. Jerry Brown diverts much needed crop water to protect “a three inch fish,” referencing the state’s efforts to protect smelt, which have become almost symbolic when it comes to the state’s efforts to solve the water crisis.

Trump’s point was that he would work really, really hard to get farmers the water they need (and want) after talking to them backstage. It’s a very complicated issue that policy makers and environmentalists have been mulling over tor the past decade. But Trump gets it.

“I’ve received many, many environmental rewards, really. Rewards and awards,” he said. “I have done very well environmentally. I’m all for it,” he added just to make sure everyone knew he was serious. He’s all for it, guys.

I, too, earned a patch once for making it through a Girl Scouts camping weekend without actually drowning myself, so it’s pretty much the same thing. Rewards and awards (namely cookies).

What Trump really gets is his audience — people who are so fed up with the intricacies of policy and the slow AF way the government works that they will take any line of bullshit that comes their way. It’s like Kim Kardashian saying that she’s going to take care of the Armenian border crisis: We feel like we know her and it’s amusing to see her speak in public, but I’m not entirely sure she’s qualified.

Donald Trump does not get anything except how to be a blowhard some people actually take pleasure in listening to. He’s the Drunk Guy At The Party who might become the president.