Kris Jenner Is Starting A Business School In NYC For $105,360 Per Year (Of Course She Is)
Breaking news from the Kardashian-Jenner empire: Kris Jenner is starting a university in the heart of New York, where you can get a business degree for just $105,360 a year. Woo! What a steal. But wait — critics say it might be a scam. Something the Kardashian/Jenner family is selling isn’t 100% all-natural, filler-free, and authentically exactly as it appears? Charge the goddamn paddles; we’re all dying of shock right now.
Students accepted into the totally legit Legacy Business School can major in Business Administration, Fashion Management, International Business, Entrepreneurship (you won’t get that at Harvard), and much more. They’ll also be granted Bespoke Elite Membership to personal concierge service agency Quintessentially, because you can’t have the full college experience without access to a personal concierge to book your box at the opera. As a bonus, the first 100 students to enroll will win an exclusive dinner with Kris Jenner, another perk you won’t get at Harvard. Suck it, Harvard!
Everything about the Legacy Business School screams “NOT A SCAM!” — from the “invaluable real-world experience” of its faculty (whose names and specific credentials aren’t listed anywhere on the site) to its headquarters in Trump Towers, to its co-CEO Alessandro Nomellini, former Chief Financial Officer of the European School of Economics (ESE).
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with Trump Towers. It’s the natural home of a university for the business leaders of tomorrow (which, again, is totally not a scam) despite calculations that Trump would be worth at least several billion more if he’d just invested his inheritance and never gone into business for himself. That’s the kind of “invaluable real-world experience” business students need: a constant reminder of how starting your own enterprise can be a massive financial failure, and maybe you should just tell your ego to take about a hundred seats, and do something more prudent with your seed money.
There’s nothing wrong with the ESE, either…unless you count not paying its professors, the $111,005 tax lien it ran up with the IRS in 2013, or the 12 lawsuits against the school since 2006 in the U.S. alone. Or the New York State Education Department’s claim that Legacy Business School is ESE operating under a different name, due to not having permission to operate as an educational institution in the state of New York. Or the ESE’s history of screwing over its students, shutting down, then emerging with a new name in several other countries.
Who wouldn’t pay $105K a year for that?
Well, most people wouldn’t, because they can’t.
“I think the question is, who WOULDN’T pay $105K for that?!”
Legacy’s website reveals a lot about its view of who should be allowed education. One section on the Experience page promises: “From the sparkles of the Met Ball on the Upper East Side to the red carpets in lower Manhattan, you own the city.” Ah, yes, education is for the wildly privileged who want to go beyond living comfortably to “owning the city,” like a late-’80s movie villain. (Also, I’ve only been to New York once, but the Upper East Side to lower Manhattan is a small portion of the city, isn’t it? You can’t really own the city if you’ve never even gone to another borough, right?)
I actually hope Legacy isn’t a real university. We don’t need yet another institution training the children of the rich and powerful to become our evil overlords. Like, they’re killing that game already, Kris. It’s all good.