Callie Is Leaving ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ And — I’m Just Gonna Say It — I’m Really Happy About It

I have a very unpopular opinion to share with Shondaland devotees: I am glad that Callie Torres is leaving Grey’s Anatomy. Like absolutely stoked about not having to watch her or deal with her drama anymore. Before you start to call me expletives under your breath, you should know a few things. I’ve loved Grey’s Anatomy forever. I hold it dear to my heart and have stuck with it through all of the ups and downs. I don’t even it consider it a “guilty pleasure.” It is pleasure, all around, when I see it on my DVR and Twitter timeline every week. It’s like “eating a bag of nacho cheese Doritos you don’t have to share with anyone” good (though that’s mainly because no one else in my life enjoys it as much as I do).

I also understand, and do, in my dislike for her, sometimes forget, how long Sara Ramirez’s character has been on the show and how important her character’s bisexuality and queer storylines were to some people. Prayer hands all around to that. Ramirez is amazing and Shonda Rhimes a goddess for writing her in. But Callie herself, as a person? I can’t stand her, and I can’t be sorry for that.

I do appreciate Callie on some levels. Her easy-going, complex, and hot relationship with Mark Sloan will always be my #relationshipgoals, much to my therapist’s chagrin. And who but Callie would ever have loved the little-doctor-that-could George O’Malley? But she was sort of mean to George, too. She moved into a fancy hotel because he said he wanted to take it slow and slept with Mark for the first time.

And therein lies my distaste for Callie Torres. She’s brash, makes bad decisions, and then wants everyone to feel sorry her. I’m not doing it.

No one remembers that she cheated on Robbins first. 

I was all about Callie when she high tailed it out of Africa when she and Robbins moved there for Arizona’s fellowship. She sacrificed her own needs and didn’t like it and I felt for her. Then she slept with Mark and got pregnant with Sofia. Flash forward to that horrible season where Arizona is still blaming Callie for cutting off her leg and has an affair with Dr. Boswell, leading to their divorce. I was still Team Callie.

But Callie took that way too hard. And she made Arizona pay for it for basically fucking ever. Listen, I don’t think I would want to do tequila shots with either one of them, but can we all at least acknowledge this hypocrisy? Callie is not the “precious angel” many of her fans think she is. She’s kind of a bully.

Speaking of, can we talk about this thing with Penny? 

I get that when love strikes, love strikes hard. But Callie broke all sorts of girl codes when she kept mopey Penny around after finding out that she was part of the team that basically killed Derek with incompetence. Sure, mistakes happen (that’s what this show is all about). But we’re talking McDreamy here. We’re talking about sleeping with the woman who was there the night your best friend’s soulmate didn’t get the right kind of scan that could have saved him. He didn’t get that scan because Penny didn’t stand up to the cranky, self-important man doctor that night in the middle of nowhere. I just don’t think I’d be able to go down on someone who sucked that much at their job. Go ahead and judge me.

She just takes babies away. 

What did she think was going to happen to when she told Arizona she was going to take Sofia to New York City with The Girl That Basically Killed Derek Shepard? I’m not a parent, and sure, Arizona has always been on the fence about how she felt about children (well, she was before she had a kid; she’s seemed pretty solidly into the role ever since), but a little more explanation and a heart to heart in an on-call room would have perhaps softened the blow. Aren’t we all about co-parenting these days? Arizona had an affair because she was crazy depressed and doesn’t have a leg. But there’s no compassion there? Really?

Let’s not forget, too, that when she find out that Arizona was sleeping around, she moved back into Casa Meredith with Sofia and pretty much barred Arizona from seeing her daughter because she had sex outside of the rules of their relationship. I don’t know what custody laws are like in Seattle, but that seems a little…unfair. She makes a lot of impetuous choices that hurt other people and then just dances in her underwear. I can’t even watch.

I also just don’t like her cry face, and I know I’m not supposed to say that, but it’s true. It’s a straight tie with April Kepner on the obnoxious-meter I hold in my cold little heart.

Grey’s gives and then taketh away. There have been moments where I never thought I would get over losing a character — Burke, Izzie, all of them. Who even knew two years ago that this show could exist without Christina Yang? I’m sorry, Callie fans (and anyone who was still shipping Calzona for the long haul), but I did a little underwear jam myself when I realized the Callie rumors were true, that she would be gone for good. I feel bad that I could never get in on the Callie fandom. I wanted to. Please, forgive me (which should be easy considering how readily you’ve forgiven Callie for her sins).