Donald Trump Called Chris Christie Fat At His Own Rally, Because He’s Donald Trump
As if the New Jersey governor isn’t seemingly miserable enough, Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump called Chris Christie fat as his own rally on Thursday. Yes, really. At least it’s a sign that Trump is democratic when it comes to insulting people. At a rally in New Jersey on Thursday held to help Christie recoup campaign finances (which is already just sad enough), Trump actually pointed at the disgraced governor and said, “You’re not eating Oreos anymore. No more Oreos. For either of us, Chris.” Oh, snap. That has to hurt. Trump is America’s number one fool and here he is, trying to help Christie raise all the money he wasted on a presidential bid and then revokes his Oreo privileges.
Of all the foodstuffs to ban from a possible member of one’s presidential transition team, Oreos are sort of the most demeaning. Are Trump and Christie just slamming sleeves of the all-American classic on the campaign trail? Or do they daintily twist them apart to lick the vanilla frosting off of the bottom half? Ew, do we even want to know? OK, Trump’s comment was also a political statement as much as it was a dig at Christie’s reputation for being overweight (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Trump declared the cookie ban after noting that Nabisco, the brains behind Oreo, have moved jobs to Mexico, according to CNN.
So, along with Mexican immigrants and Muslims, a Trump presidency also means “no more Oreos.” If that doesn’t convince you that the man is an asshole, I don’t know what will. Even if banning Oreos is the first step to making America great again, Trump has managed to demoralize Christie already. The Great Oreo Ban of 2016 puts Christie’s uncomfortable demeanor whenever he’s around the candidate into a whole new light. Remember when he looked like a hostage behind Trump after endorsing him back in March? And Mary Pat Christie’s eye roll earlier this month while The Donald was congratulating himself on another primary win? Maybe they already knew he was going to take away their snack time.
What’s even more bizarre than banning cookies or literally pointing at someone and sub-tweeting their weight, is the rally itself. It’s not uncommon for candidates to hold fundraisers for their opponents after beating them in an election, but that it was also billed as a “rally” is sort of “bizarre,” according to NJ.com, which covered the event this week. Tickets were $200 to see the real estate mogul and the governor appear together. If you have any heart, it’s good to know that Christie was able to recoup all of the cash to make up for his campaign debt. Some people paid up to $250,000 dollars to cover not just the campaign costs, but also Bridgegate legal fees. Chris Christie has absolutely no shame.
Let America eat Oreos, Trump. If he does manage to take the Oval Office come next year, most of America is going to need some cookies and ice-cream to ease the pain.