There’s A Tape Of Donald Trump Pretending To Be His Own Rep & You Deserve To Hear This Magic

You’re going to want to settle in somewhere so you can enjoy this one. Just when you thought that he couldn’t be any more absurd, it turns out that there is a tape of Donald Trump pretending to be a spokesperson to brag about himself. Yes, like he called a reporter using a fake name, pretending to be some new guy on his PR team, and gave an interview about himself. It’s sort of brilliant.

Apparently, this was thing he did so often that reporters on the Trump beat came to expect that “John Miller” and “John Baron,” the two aliases he reportedly used, would be returning their requests for comment. According to The Washington Post, who amazingly managed to get their hands on a recording this week for all of us to enjoy, some journalists thought Trump was just being “playful” when he called as a spokesperson.

The unearthed tape is 14 glorious minutes of Trump giving an interview with People reporter Sue Carswell. She was on a tight deadline for a story on Trump’s love live and relationships with various celebrities. Of course, “John” had a lot to say about the real estate mogul’s mojo. It’s clear from the recording that Carswell doesn’t know if she’s supposed to laugh or not.

“He’s somebody that has a lot of options. And frankly, he gets called by everybody. He gets called by everybody in the book, in terms of women,” Trump as “John the PR guy” told Carswell. He goes on to brag about Madonna wanting a date with him, and rambles on about Carla Bruni, and how he’s looking for the right woman to settle down with since Trump is into the “marriage concept.”

Later in the call, Carswell asks “John” about his position at the company like you would ask a three year old what he’s dressed up as for Halloween. “And what are you supposed to be?”

Because it doesn’t even sound like he’s trying to disguise his signature voice. It is so obviously Donald Trump on the other end of the line that he had to have been joking. Either that, or he is entirely out of his mind, which is just as plausible but definitely a little creepier. The image of Trump putting down the sandwich he’s eating for lunch at his desk, taking a deep breath, and picking up the phone to talk about himself is just too much. It’s like a scene from The Simpsons. Or a really, really bad late night sketch.

Trump was asked about the tape on the Today show Friday morning and, of course, he quickly denied that it was him on the other end of the phone. He said, “I have many, many people that are trying to imitate my voice and you can imagine that. Trump added that this was just another of the “many scams,” by the media or something we have to assume, to take him down.

But you can’t take down a guy with an ego as yuge as his, right? Whether or not it’s Trump in the recording (it is, guys) is up to the listener to decide. One thing is absolutely certain though judging from the tape — Trump definitely does a better Trump impression that you do. You can’t beat this guy.