Ted Cruz’s Wife Compared His Campaign To The Abolitionist Movement, So That’s Cool

Texas Senator and failed presidential candidate Ted Cruz might not have too many great things going on in his life since being squarely defeated by apparent Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. But hey, at least his marriage is an absolute match made in heaven. To what am I referring? After a career of likening the Holocaust to Obamacare and accusing classmates of being dirty ol’ commies, Ted’s passion for referencing human tragedies to make ridiculous points seems to be one he shares with wife Heidi, who compared Cruz’s campaign to the fight to end slavery on Tuesday.

Oh, Ted. Only you and yours could continue producing cringe-worthy moments a week after suspending your presidential campaign.

According to The Texas Tribune, Heidi told the campaign’s “National Prayer Team” of her husband’s campaign:

“I don’t want you to feel like any of this was in vain. I believe in the power of prayer. This doesn’t always happen on the timing of man, and God does not work in four-year segments. Be full of faith and so full of joy that this team was chosen to fight a long battle. Think that slavery — it took 25 years to defeat slavery. That is a lot longer than four years.”

(Emphasis added by yours truly).

Granted, Heidi wasn’t necessarily likening Cruz’s campaign to the abolitionist movement, but rather, was using the abolitionist movement’s time frame as a comforting point of reference to console the very disappointed “Cruz crew.” But regardless, it was problematic for a number of reasons, an immediate one being that, as Ashley Feinberg at Gawker points out, no, the fight to abolish slavery didn’t unfold over a mere 25 years. (250 would be a closer approximation in the United States, at least.)

Then there’s the fact that I could hardly imagine a better modern antithesis (other than, maybe, Donald Trump’s campaign) to the abolitionist movement than Ted Cruz’s platform, which, time and again, has passionately opposed marginalized groups having freedom in today’s society.

Women having the freedom to make their own decisions about their bodies? Nah. Gay couples having the freedom to get married? Not a fan. But, mind you, Cruz doesn’t always oppose freedom. For example, he supports homophobic business owners having the freedom to deny service to gay people, so, I mean, there’s that.

However, the conference call did contain some, albeit very mild, substance toward the end. Heidi proceeded to shit on the Republican party establishment, as one does, claiming her husband somehow “changed the Republican Party,” by challenging its “deceit” and apparent antagonism toward the Constitution.

Heidi ended the call on a high note, declaring, “The old battles are behind us, the new ones are before us.” (In before this line is interpreted as a hint at the Zodiac killings to come.) I’m fairly confident these “new battles” will have something to do with oppressing women, the LGBT community, poor people, etc., but best of luck to you, Heidi. I look forward to writing about all the cringe-worthy moments you and Ted have ahead for you.