Donald Trump Talking About Hairspray Is The Best (And Worst) Thing You’ll See All Day

If you have two minutes to spare, Donald Trump talking about hairspray is guaranteed to be the best (and probably worst) thing you’ve laid your eyes on all day. I’m personally straight-up done watching these videos of Trump acting a fool — unless Samantha Bee masterfully tackles it on her show — but this is pretty damn entertaining. The presumptive GOP nominee aimlessly rambles on about hairspray at a West Virginia rally, questioning whether or not it’s actually bad for the environment, which I guess is his idea of being more “presidential.”

After referring to Hillary Clinton as “crooked Hillary” (because Trump would never miss an opportunity to put down an opponent or group of immigrants), he explains that the West Virginia Coal Association has endorsed him. Then, in yet another attempt for the billionaire to appear “just like you,” he puts on a coal mining helmet for about two seconds. When he takes it off, he says, “My hair looks OK? I got a little spray. Give me a little spray.” Always worried about his hair, that one.

He immediately goes off on an mesmerizingly uninteresting and inaccurate tangent about hairspray — not the movie or musical, but the actual product. (I doubt he’s ever seen Hairspray, but I like the mental of him watching it.)

Donald Trump

In the video, courtesy of the Associated Press, Trump laments over the fact that hairspray isn’t what it used to be. Here’s his full statement on the hair product:

“My hair looks OK? I got a little spray. Give me a little spray. You know you’re not allowed to use hairspray anymore because it affects the ozone. You know that, right? I said, ‘You mean to tell me’ — because you know, hairspray’s not like it used to be. It used to be real good. When I put on that helmet — and by the way, look [pats own hair] it really is mine. Lookit. My hair. Give me a mirror. Today ya put the hairspray on and it’s good for twelve minutes, right? They say you can’t — I said, ‘Wait a minute, so if I take hairspray and I spray it in my apartment which is all sealed, you’re telling me that affects the ozone layer?’ Yes? I say no way folks. No way.”

Say what? Sure, this makes no sense, but it’s not surprising that Trump is a big fan of aerosol hairspray and misses when “it used to be real good” — a time, I should point out, when women stayed in the kitchen with stiff hair and breasts, segregation was in full swing, and we had no idea what kind of harm we were causing the physical planet.

Donald Trump

Trump isn’t looking forward to the future — which would be the closest definition to “being Presidential” I can think of. Rather, he would very much prefer to travel back to the past. The fact that he has made it this far as been a sad realization that this country still has a huge population of people resisting productive and progressive change, even when it comes to hairspray.

Maybe Trump will start a Make Hairspray Great Again campaign.