Kim’s Mother’s Day Gift From Kanye Was Another Garish Display Of Aimless Wealth

Being that these two are spiritually incapable of passing up an opportunity to prove their love for one another by spending as much money as possible in the least constructive ways imaginable, Kim Kardashian’s Mother’s Day gift from Kanye West kept very much in line with their typical romantic aesthetic: burning piles of money.

The 36-year-old mother of two and taker of selfies started her morning being serenaded by an orchestra…in her living room…playing songs selected by her 2-year-old daughter, North West. Songs included “Let It Go” from Frozen (aka, the incurable audible cancer that will carry all parents to their grave eventually), and “It’s A Hard Knock Life” and “Tomorrow” from Annie. I can’t hate on those choices; The idea of North running around singing those songs is cute enough to temporarily exorcise the cynicism from my heart.

OK, moment over. Cynical again.

Kim also got a bench (OK.) of pink flowers, which to be fair, is a decidedly modest step down from the wall of flowers Kanye gave Kim for Mother’s Day two years ago.

I honestly feel like Kanye was phoning this shit in this year. I mean, the members of this private orchestra weren’t even wearing Balmain. He’s getting lazy.

Yes, this seems completely reasonable. It’s nice to see that Kim and Kanye are using this Mother’s Day as another opportunity to demonstrate to their children that love is best expressed through over-the-top displays of wasting money as creatively as possible and broadcasting the results to millions of people who are infinitely poorer than you. Happy Mother’s Day!