Who Will Donald Trump Pick As His Running Mate? We Have 4 Excellent Candidates For Him

According to Politico, Republican frontrunner Donald Trump has begun vetting potential running mates.  After kicking Ted Cruz’s ass in Indiana Tuesday night and Kasich’s dropping out the next day, Trumps became the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. As such, he is ostensibly searching for his number two. While many are theorizing about the businessman’s potential VP picks, no names have officially been disclosed.

“Well, it’s too soon. I just don’t want to do it,” Trump said during MSNBC’s Morning Joe. “I think that, you know, a lot of people are talking about certain names, and certainly those are the names we are thinking of.”

Since people are talking about certain names and those are the names he is thinking of, since I am people, I want my names to be thought of too. I have been watching the elections closely for the past year so I have a pretty good idea of who could be his perfect match. (Trump, please let me know if these names are the names you are thinking of!)

David Duke

David Duke
CREDIT: AP Photo

Trump infamously took a wee bit too long to disavow hate monger, David Duke’s, quasi- endorsement earlier this year. Duke is a well-known white nationalist and former KKK grand wizard aka Trump’s core base. He recently said voting against Trump is a “treason to your heritage.” Trump loves a good hyperbole so I smell a love connection here.

Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh Speaks at the National Association of Broadcasters in Philadelphia Amidst Controversy
CREDIT: William Thomas Cain/Getty Images

Conservative radio talk show host Limbaugh has recently succumbed to supporting Trump, enthusiastically stating there is “a much bigger upside than downside” to Trump’s nomination.

Sarah Palin

Leading Conservatives Attend 40th Annual CPAC
CREDIT: Pete Marovich/Getty Images

Deemed Trump 1.0 by Full Frontal late-night host, Samantha Bee, Palin would be the ying to Trump’s yang. She has political experience running as VP, failed reality show experience, and is just as clinically delusional as Trump, if not more. I mean, can you imagine the amount of nonsense that would come out of this ticket? It would almost make all the unbearably disgusting latent hate that’s been dredged up out of Middle American during this campaign worth it.

Ben Carson

GOP Presidential Candidate Ben Carson Campaigns In Colorado Day After Party's Third Debate
CREDIT: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Ben Carson seems to be a real viable candidate for the position. He’s pretty much on everyone’s actual, real list. Yes, the man who claims the Egyptian pyramids were built to store grains is a serious contender of being America’s next vice-president. Not sure how the white nationalists will feel about that, Trump.

The shit on the bottom of my shoe

Oops, sorry. I meant Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz

Republican Presidential Candidates Debate In Miami Area
CREDIT: Joe Raedle/Getty Images

There’s precedence in presidential nominees asking opponents to join their administration. Most recently, democratic besties Obama and Hillary. What started off as a GOP bromance ended up in a nasty public break-up. But that doesn’t mean reconciliation isn’t possible! If Beyoncé and Jay Z can survive Beckygate, certainly these two horrifying white men can work their shit out. And even if they don’t, we can count on one thing: Donald Trump — no matter who he picks as his running mate — is more than enough of a horrifying white man all on his own.