Ted Cruz Will Name Carly Fiorina As His Running Mate In Last-Ditch Effort To Triumph Over Trump

It’s already a mathematical impossibility for Ted Cruz to win the 1,237 delegates needed to win the Republican nomination, but Senator Tonsil Stone isn’t out of the race yet. Though the last two weeks of primary contests have netted Cruz a whopping five delegates, the Texas politician is still aiming to hurt Donald Trump’s lead and get enough support should there be a contested convention. So what’s his Hail Mary strategy? Major news outlets like CNN and the New York Times are reporting that campaign advisers have confirmed that Ted Cruz plans to name Carly Fiorina as his running mate later today in Indiana. The campaign hopes that by joining forces, they’ll have a strong showing in the state’s upcoming primary, as well as in Fiorina’s native California on June 7.

By selecting Fiorina as his running mate, Cruz no doubt hopes to win over women who are turned off by Trump’s sexist rhetoric (but not Cruz’s equally sexist, woman-hating policies!), as well as conservative voters who haven’t been jazzed by his Bible-thumping and/or might otherwise stay home on primary day. Perhaps Cruz is also hoping to make the case that by having a woman as his running mate, he’ll have a better chance against Hillary Clinton, the likely Democratic nominee, in the general election. Typically, candidates don’t name their VP picks until just before the convention, or until it’s at least been determined that they’re the presumptive nominee.

Fiorina, of course, was once Cruz’s opponent, having been one of the bazillion right-wingers to campaign for the GOP nomination during this exhaustingly long primary. Ol’ Helmet Hair spent a few months railing against Hillary Clinton, waxing on about an imaginary video in which Planned Parenthood hocked fetal tissue, and icily responding to Trump’s sexist remarks about her face. (“Look at that face?” Trump remarked to Rolling Stone upon seeing a Fiorina campaign ad on television. “Would anyone vote for that?”) After dropping out of the race, the failed former Hewlett-Packard executive endorsed Cruz and has been a regular on the campaign trail ever since. Fiorina is apparently popular with conservative voters — I don’t know any, so I cannot confirm — but popular enough to give Cruz the edge he desperately needs? Ehhhh … I doubt it. But then again, this election has been an unpredictable and frightening hellscape and anything could happen, so if you need me, I’ll be practicing my Spanish incase I need to move to Mexico.

[NY Times]


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