Ronda Rousey’s Spirit Animal Is A Dolphin For Sex Reasons, Obviously
UFC Champion and beautiful hero this world barely deserves Ronda Rousey has declared that her spirit animal is a dolphin, and yes, it’s because of the sex reasons.
In a Draftkings segment titled Face-To-Face, she sat down with Odell Beckham Jr. to talk about nude photoshoots and their fav animals. Beckham Jr. said he most identifies with lions, so she was courteous enough to further explain why he is incorrect:
The only animal I’d want to be is a dolphin, for a couple reasons… I think dolphins are one of the few species on Earth that has sex recreationally, and they have really complex social systems and they’re really sweet to each other, ya know? Dolphins, like, kinda cuddle and caress each other. I don’t know, it’s just I watch the documentaries, and it’s just, like, that lion shit is mean, okay? That’s like a really terrible relationship and I don’t wanna be in a lion relationship. Like, ‘Hi, I’m the new guy in town, I’m going to kill your babies and fuck you in the forest.’ Like, what? No, I don’t want that, I want to be a dolphin.
I didn’t know there was a way to make your spirit animal into a sex-positive, feminist treatise, but that’s because I am not Ronda Rousey, Goddess of Strength and Wisdom. It’s so beautiful that the dolphins cuddle and caress each other, too. It’s about erotic pleasure as well as compassion. It’s so empowering, like Mother Nature and Ronda Rousey just collaborated on the greatest love song of our time. I used to like cats the best, but obviously it’s all about dolphins now. Everyone else, please also change your fav animal to dolphins because of the sex reasons immediately.