Donald Trump’s Spawn Forgot To Register & Can’t Vote For Him In The Primary

This election continues to be one long Onion article, doesn’t it? Today come news that two of Donald Trump’s adult children, Ivanka (the daughter he always says inappropriate things about) and Eric (the son who looks like the poster boy for an Aryan nation), forgot to register as Republicans in New York in time to vote in the state’s primary. That means when New Yorkers go to the polls on April 19, only Donald Trump Jr. will be able to cast a ballot for good ol’ dad. So how does Trump feel?

Speaking on “Fox & Friends” this morning, Trump admitted that despite being ever-present on the campaign trail, Ivanka and Eric “were, you know, unaware of the rules … so they feel very, very guilty.”

“But it’s fine,” Trump went on. “I understand that. I think they have to register a year in advance and they didn’t. So Eric and Ivanka, I guess, won’t be voting.”

Eh, it’s not quite a year in advance, but the New York voter registration deadline was all the way back in October. Remember October? Back in the days or yore, when we all — including Trump’s own kids, it seems — snickered at Trump’s presidential hopes and dreams, sure that they could never possibly even come close to coming true? Sigh. It was a simpler time.

If Trump wins the GOP nomination, Ivanka and Eric will be able to vote for him in the general election, if they remember that is.