Women Are Now Contouring Their Legs, Because We Don’t Have Enough To Do Already

Performing conventional femininity is an arduous task that can involve loads of products. There are hair serums and glitters and shape enhancing outfits and mango-scented body butter, and really if you choose to go down the rabbit hole it’s endless and exciting and horrifying all at once. Contouring your face has been a growing trend for quite awhile now, made popular by make-up junkies galore as well as the huge platform of the Kardashians who have gone so far as to contour their ears. But now, a new circle of hell has opened up, ¬†unleashing one of the most absurd and time-consuming ways to brush up your flesh and make it more fuckable for the gaze of other sadsack humans: leg contouring!

Yes, it’s exactly the same as face contouring, except this time you put makeup ALL OVER your legs to create the illusion of much thinner, shinier legs!

Ooh la la! Just another 30-minute routine to add to your Rolodex of activities to make your disgusting body more palatable!

The art of the leg contour itself is fascinating, and it’s obviously a personal choice to be made. But personally, it crosses a line from fun beautifying into full-on oppressive. Putting bronzer on your legs to make them look more symmetrical feels like the ultimate dystopian level of beautification, unless of course it involves a shitload of glitter in which case it’s purely theatrical.