Azealia Banks And Sarah Palin Have Beef And It’s Amazing
A beef erupted between Azealia Banks and Sarah Palin this week after Banks read a satirical news piece in which Palin claimed that black people “willingly accepted slavery.” Not initially aware that the piece was satire, Banks took to Twitter right away to voice her thoughts about Palin. Although the tweets themselves are now deleted, you can see the screenshots here.
As you can imagine, Sarah Palin caught wind of the tweets and was not pleased. She took to Facebook with an official post which she addressed a “Female Rapper” and went on an impassioned diatribe about how both the women are #blessed with platforms and should ultimately work together against racism and sexism. However, Palin’s post didn’t sit long before she announced she plans to sue Banks for the tweets.
Palin said in an interview with People:
“I’ve had enough of the unanswered threats and attacks against my family and me. So, for the first time I’m going to enjoy the only retribution some protected ‘celebrities’ seem to understand—I’m suing Azealia Banks and can’t wait to share my winnings with others who have gone defenseless against lies and dangerous attacks far too long.”
Once threats of being sued circled back to Banks, she knew it was time to bust out the big guns and pen a thoughtful-yet-firm letter to Palin. Naturally, the letter includes a post script with the signature snark Banks is known to throw.
“Dear Sarah Palin,
I hope this message reaches you in good spirits and in good health. I want to start this letter off by telling you that I actually, really like you. While many other American people may see you as someone to be ridiculed, I truly believe that you possess a certain “je ne sais quoi,” (a french term which is often interpreted to denote one’s inexplicable charisma.) Given a bit of book-reading/media-training/patience, that charisma could become your magic carpet. There is something very charismatic and misunderstood about you. The misunderstood bit oftentimes reminds me of myself. You’re very passionate about the things you believe in, super determined, and most certainly aware of who you are and where you stand in this world, as a parent, as a politician, but most importantly, as a woman.
Given the propensity of conservative right-wing media publications to veer into very fearful/erroneous/baseless/contradictory/prejudice analyses of us “melanated,” peoples of the United States, It should come as no shock to you that a satirical article accusing you of saying, “Even the French understand that Slavery wasn’t our fault because the negroes liked it,” Would be provocative enough to ruffle a few feathers. Now since learning that the article was not published officially, I sincerely apologize for any emotional distress or reputational scarring i may have caused you.
In my honest defense, i was completely kidding. I happen to have a really crass, New-York-City sense of humor, and regularly make silly jokes in attempts make light of situations which make me uncomfortable. As the fabric of the American Nation is EMBEDDED with racism, I merely made a raCIALly driven joke to counter what i believed to be real, raCIST rhetoric. Also, i never said you should be raped. I used the term “run a train,” which is slang for group sex, NOT for “rape.” There are many distinctions between the two. As a woman, I would never trivialize something as lewd and criminal to provide myself any sort of comic relief because it simply… just isn’t funny. (and no, urbandictionary.com is not a reputable source of information to seek clarity on the aforementioned dichotomy). However, i find great irony in the right-wing media’s attempt to “victimize,” you in this situation. Seeking empathy through sensationalism is something left-leaning liberals are frequently ridiculed for by the Right. But American Hypocrisy is nothing new.
Considering the imminence of 2016’s polarizing presidential election, I’ve taken it upon myself to do my own social research. I’ve recently had the opportunity to indulge in a few lengthy conversations with some very popular conservative figures. I’ve concluded: Amongst millennial conservatives, Censorship paired with the (questionable) social necessity for political correctness are atop the list of social grievances. It is as though this newest generation of conservative voters desire the right to express their true feelings, free of any filter and free of any consequence. I too harbor a similar sentiment regarding censorship and self-expression, as i am an artist. I cherish my ability to express myself freely, yet remain totally aware that for every action, there will be a reaction.
All in All, Woman to Woman, I hope you will accept my sincerest apology.
-Miss Azealia A Banks.”
WAIT, THERE’S MORE:
-I am an EXTREMELY intelligent woman, Mrs. Palin.
-“Hey Female Rapper,” was your way to euphemize what you REALLY wanted to say. What you wanted to say was, “Hey little Stereotypical Black, Thing!”
-Realize that stereotypes are a product of what I like to call the “Critical White Gaze.” The basic fundamentals of the Critical White Gaze are Fear, Ignorance, Curiosity, and Fetishization.
-Intelligence is not something which can be quantified in 140 Characters.
-Twitter is not real, neither is your opinion of me!
-If Bristol Palin listened to my music she probably wouldn’t have all those cotdamn kids!!!! ;-P #sis #iud #stayinschool #causeitsthebest”
As you can imagine, as of yet Palin has no rebuttal. How do you respond when the mic drop is so loud your ears are ringing?!