Voters Rejoice: Andrew W.K. Is Now Fronting The ‘Party Party’

During this difficult time of political infighting, it can feel absolutely impossible to find a candidate that aligns with your values and has supporters you’d actually want to hang out with. Oftentimes the candidates with the most appealing policies attract people you can’t imagine being in a room with for over an hour because their smug (or crazy) levels are so suffocating. Luckily, for those of us seeking some friendly whiskey shots with our change, the god of partying and unity himself, Andrew W.K., has created an alternative appropriately named the “Party Party.”

With his flowing, sweat-scented hair and his signature monochromatic white outfit, Andrew W.K. has a finger on the pulse of what the people need, and according to his campaign video what we need is to get past our differences, lay down the groundwork of equality and smash our faces with bricks until our troubles crumble under the intensity.

“If my experience as a partier, and entertainer, and a human being has taught me anything, it’s that many of us have lost faith in our political process,” Andrew W.K. says, before walking through the hallway of a high school compelling hope and head nods with every step.

It’s rare that I find a candidate I can identify with on such a personal level, a candidate I could talk policy with AND fist pump with. Which is exactly why I think Andrew W.K. is fit to run our country.